Dyed In The Wool Blue Stocking

Clockwork

2012-01-07T17:38:00.001-06:00

IMAG0506, originally uploaded by fudh4x0r.

This pattern from Westknits is mostly garter stitch, and yet, I didn't find it too much of a slog at the end.

I swapped with a friend it for some cross stitch. I knitted it in dk yarn (Kashmira from Joann's Sensations line) on a size six needle. It blocked out to be the size of the top bunk-- a twin bed. Well, a wee bit wider. After blocking, I would have liked the gauge a bit more snug. I have some other dk yarn set aside to make one for myself. I may though, make West's current pattern from Knitty. This one was well worth the money, so I may also buy another of his lovely shawl patterns for the yarn in question. The yarn is rather aggressively girly, so the geometric qualities of his patters will balance things out.

Stitch Markers

2012-01-07T17:28:00.001-06:00

IMAG0518.jpg, originally uploaded by fudh4x0r.

There are a crapzillion tutorials on the web for making these. Here is mine.

For tools, I had only crimping pliers and some sort of pliers with a bent front? I think I needed some other needle nose pliers. I may well have them, but I can't find them. Oh, and I spilled an entire jar of glitter in my craftsman tool chest that I use for nonknitting craft stuff. Glitter: The Herpes of Crafting. I will NEVER get rid of that shit.

For materials, I had findings in gold plate. I couldn't find sterling and nickel irritates my skin. I'm a thenthive printhess. The findings included 2 inch gold plated headpins, 10 mm rings, gold crimp beads, bead spacers. I bought a small tube of beads to supplement my random leftover beads.

Put 3 random beads with spacers or crimpers between them. I used some crimp beads as spacers because I am pretty sure there are no crafting cops.

Above that, put a crimp bead.

Bend the head pin over, making a loop and thread the non-head end into the crimp bead. That was the part that was the biggest hassle. I had a couple head pins that got hopelessly mangled.

Crimp.

Add 10mm ring to the loop on the headpin.

If I were doing these again, I would use a 3 inch headpin and skip the 10mm ring. I would make the loop and then give the end a little twist above the beads, on the stem, as it were.

So now. . . .my knitting has jewelry. More jewelry than I do, actually. I think I spent about 90 minutes making 24 of them. I am not built for speed though. I tend to fuss unnecessarily over things like making them all the same or all unique. I went with unique, but then I wondered if I had randomized the bead placement enough. It's tough work being nuts.

ReverbBroads Day2 Prompt

2011-12-02T06:44:00.001-06:00

There is a facebook group for bloggers called Reverb Broads. I liked 'em for this writing prompt: What is the stupidest thing you've done this year.

It's kind of them to narrow it down to 2011 for me. . .

You know what I did that was stupid? I got caught up in a bad scene at work. I don't know how it started but I know how it ended. I can't talk about specifics or I could get fired.

I pretty much learned all the same lessons I've been learning for the last few years about forgiveness and work politics. I feel pretty stupid for staying in Stockholm, but I get a lot of paid time off.

Let's Kill Monday

2011-11-14T07:13:00.001-06:00

Seriously. I will bring the shovel.

Book Whatever: Sarah's Key

2011-11-13T17:15:00.001-06:00

I have a Nook, so I can buy books with no forethought. Normally, this is only bad for my bank account, not my mental health. I saw Sarah's Key recommended to me because I liked a couple other books set around WWII. The title rang a bell and I thought that maybe the mom of one of Charlie's friends recommended it. I bought it. In the first chapter, I started to wonder if reading this was a good idea. I couldn't bloody stop myself. I have not fully conquered the need to finish every damn book I start. This book is only slightly less depressing than Jude The Obscure. They both have divorce and suicide, but this one has fewer dead children. There are Nazi Collaborators though, which sort of edges out Thomas Hardy. I can't say I recommend this if you are in one of those stretches where you are doggedly trying to keep up your own spirits in a stiff upper lip sort of way. Turns out it was my mom who recommended it. She has a lot higher tolerance for that sort of thing.

Things I Find Baffling

2011-09-11T14:53:00.002-05:00

There is a new interface now, if you are blogging, instead of getting a smallish text box with a lot of business around it, you get a smallish text box with a lot of white space around it. I can see that those with writer's block or performance anxiety might be losing their crap right now. The tags are easier to select if you use a set of them. Other than that, I am not sure if this is progress or just change. I am in favor of progress, opposed to change for its own sake.

I am baffled that no matter how much of an asshole someone is, that Jesus loves them anyhow. There seem to be an excess of assholes around me lately. It's a constant struggle not to be an asshole back. Good thing I read "The No Asshole Rule". If you work as part of a team that is in crisis, I highly endorse it.

I don't understand why the last 10 rows are so daunting on my current 2 projects. I am just slogging along.

I find it baffling that there are so few washable striping yarns. If I want to make a mitered crosses blanket that is machine washable, I am relegated to making it on sock yarn and teeny tiny needles. I think I shall pass on that. I have not ruled out hobby lobby's "I Love This Yarn!" despite the irrational exuberance of its name.

I am also confused that anyone thinks jingoistic flag-waving makes them seem like they have contributed anything. I don't care if we are talking about 9-11, the environment, or the jobs market. Facebook Slactivism is on my last nerve.

I don't understand why I have totally lost the love for my little book reports. I still clipping along at the rate of about a book every week, but I'm keen on the paperwork of keeping track.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation (With! Hyper! Hyper! Links!)

2011-08-16T22:28:00.001-05:00

Technically, I was not vacationing. I was working, but I went to Jersey City, NJ to train some of my work peeps about the application for which I'm a subject matter expert. Incidentally, I feel like a complete douche when I call myself a subject matter expert, but I'm not as much a douche as people who call an SME a smeeeeeee. It's not a word! It's an acronym! Don't do that! Ess. Emm. Eeee.

I worked on a powerpoint ahead of time, deleting and restarting it with the kind of vigor that only an overthinking neurotic nutjob possesses. Maybe this is unique to me, but formatting the slides and taking just the right snippet of a screenshot takes me far longer than composing the text, but in the time I fiddle with the fonts and sizes and colors I continually redesign my topic flow and it's just a hot mess of crazylady. Midway through presenting it, I was asked to redo my syllabus. So I am taking the half-assed final version of ppt and trying to make it into a comprehensive document with a table of contents and everything. I am completely serious when I say that I will be needing a med check. Soonish.

The limo came for me at 5:30 am last Monday. This was my first ride in one that didn't go to a funeral. So that was a nice change, though I am pretty confident the retail purchase price of the car was very close to being the cost of my entire house. I got to the airport at 5:48, the recommended 2 hours ahead of flight time. The airline sucked so badly I got to wait over an hour and 20 minutes just to check my bag. Fortunately, the TSA decided I had an honest face and sent me right through the line. Just so you know, you have to remove laptops from laptop bags and put them in their own plastic bin to go through the machine. Everyone seems to have a dell. I had a purple sticker on mine, courtesy of Chuckles. I am not sure how the other 3 dell owners figured out who belonged to which computer. So get yourself a distinctive little sticker for your laptop!

Right around the time boarding was to start, the pilot came through the door where the plane docs to the building and set off the alarm. Ten minutes of shrill, ear splitting, skin crawling Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. .

It does not inspire confidence when your pilot can't help but set off the alarm. Nor does it inspire confidence that the airline has not entrusted them with permission to turn the damned thing off.

Eventually, the nice folks of the TSA made it stop and then we boarded the 'plane'. Please note my use of snicker quotes. One seat, aisle, two more seats. That's the width. Nineteen rows of seats. I guess when it comes to planes, I'm a size queen. Let me back up, I have not flown in the Brave New World. My previous flight was March of 2001. I was a bit of a basket case. I talked to strangers in the airport. I checked and rechecked for my ID, my boarding pass, my knitting, my book, my other book. I don't know how I thought I'd get to that much in a nonstop flight from Omaha to NJ. Clearly I underestimated the amount of time I'd devote to reading the safety pamphlet, clutching the armrests, and clenching my jaw to avoid vomiting up a cup of tea, a 16 oz breve (with 4 shots of espresso), and a can of coke. In retrospect, I would not advise that nervous fliers mainline caffeine until they hit a level of tweakiness comparable to a monkey on crack.   (I can quit any time I want. I just don't want to quit.) The plane did a little more bobbing and weaving than I like when I'm up above the cloud layer. I compulsively looked at other passengers to see if anyone else was panicking. Turns out I was the token nutbar.

When I got to NJ, I was able to get my bag straight away and my next driver appeared to need directions to my office. I could not give them. Even if I lived in JC, it would be a pretty slim chance I could give directions. My sense of direction is somewhat less accurate than that of Christopher Columbus. If I had set off to discover a spice route, we'd have found penguins. We eventually got there and when I got up to my temporary desk and said hello to all the people I normally talk to only on the phone, I realized I was completely fucking knackered. I put in a pathetic attempt at work that afternoon. Everyone was amazed that I was even shorter than they expected. Still it was good to see my fellow testers, my environment engineers, and the developers.

When the day was done, I took my first ever ride on light rail! Matt walked me to the hotel, since I was sort of weaving with fatigue and couldn't get my sense of direction. I checked in at the hotel and found they'd put me in a suite. AND IT WAS SWEET. It was! The outer room was a sofa/chair/tv/dorm fridge sort of set up. I had total dominion over the remote! Just past a set of French doors, I had 2 full sized beds to pick from, both overlooking a lot of tall, sparkly buildings and looking into an immaculate bathroom with a dry toilet seat. It's the simple things in life that bring me happiness. Oh, and there was a second tv and remote! I got there just before 6, had a mediocre chicken piccata in the restaurant and went upstairs. You know what I did? I did what I had looked forward to since I booked my flight and room. I DEPANTSED! Free! Free from the tyranny of pants! I tried to sign onto the internet, which was $12.95 for 24 hours, and yet so slow I couldn't stream an episode of Suits from USA network's site. Don't judge! Gabriel Macht has La Voce. He could grow a hunchback and I'd still listen to him read the phone book. I gave up on internet after about 15 minutes of tomfoolery. Then there was some non streaming tv watching. By 9:20 eastern, I was nearly unconscious. I snuggled into the bed on stage right and made sense of the 5 pillows. That bed was like being snuggled by angels and the baby Jesus. I slept through until 6:30 when my alarm went off. Probably the last time I slept like that was farther back than my last airplane flight.

I walked to the office on Tuesday and proceeded to annoy pretty much everyone by being perky and happy and shit. I felt like I was standing outside myself! Who is this manic woman? I don't know but she's wearing my underpants! After proving to be too stupid to connect a laptop to a projector, I taught the basics of order management and then went for a Mexican lunch with my boss and one of my students. I only wish I hadn't gone to JC during Ramadan so that my teammates could come along. I never feel like I'm really connected to people until we eat together. And eating alone feels wrong, like when I've accidentally left Bakers with a case of soda under my cart that I didn't pay for. Tuesday afternoon I worked on a project of mine, worked on documentation, and had a lovely chat on IM with Jon B, who is in yet another office. He had restaurant recommendations for me, Light Horse Tavern and a Cuban place, but he couldn't recall the name. The next thing I knew, everyone was gone and it was just shy of 6pm. So I went outside and I walked.

I walked to to the water, where I could see NYC across the Hudson. I walked past the Memorial for the Katyn Massacre of 1940. I walked past the memorial for the citizens of Jersey City who died in the terrorist attacks of 9/11. I walked all over the waterfront, toting my laptop bag for good measure. I wanted, more than anything that evening, to get a really stellar picture of the Statue of Liberty for my dad. She sort of hides in and out of the scenery as you walk along the shore. It's like being in an Escher sketch! Eventually, I was at the ferry landing and the brochure said they arrive every half hour for trips around the harbor. It was 7:49 and my cell battery was on red. I seriously considered rolling the dice and taking the 8pm ferry, knowing I'd be walking back to my hotel at 8:30, in the dark essentially. Remember my sense of direction? Yeah, I called my friend, Matt, thinking he'd yell some sense into me but he didn't pick up and I left a message. The father of the nice family on the landing said to me "Honey! Where you from?"

"Nebraska," says I. "I want to get a better picture of the Statue of Liberty!"

"Oh honey! Don't be telling your business on the cell phone in public! And don't even think about walking home from here alone at night!"

My dad's paternal grandfather came through Ellis Island twice. The first time, he didn't realize that when he went home to visit, he'd get conscripted into the Italian army and almost die of a saber wound. The second time he elected to get as land locked as possible I guess. On my dad's mom's side, they go back to the revolutionary war, so not a lot of Ellis Island research to be done there. I wish I knew more about the immigration history of my mother's family. Still, in what other country could I be born? I'm Italian, Irish, German and WASP-Converted to Catholic. I'm married to a German/English/French/Lakota man and we have the two best sons ever. So the Statue of Liberty is one of my favorite ladies. That's right, that supposedly rare bird-- the Liberal Patriot. We're not all that rare, just so you know.

So I for once did the sensible thing. I walked back to my hotel, hoping I'd find Light Horse Tavern. Failing that, I stopped to get a soda along the way. Good, but not tart enough! I got back around 8:20 and figured that I had 2 choices, eat in the hotel restaurant again or walk to the mall and find a snack. I decided to change into a non-sweaty shirt and walk to the mall. On the way to the mall, I saw this place, Azucar! Just like Jon B said. I'd never had Cuban food before, so I went in and ordered this! (Why the exclamation points? Just doing my part to put the 'hyper' in 'hyperlink'. You're welcome.) Beef empanadas, plantain chips, shelled mussels in saffron and white wine broth and the best mojito I've ever had. It was an excellent balance of lime and mint, with a stick of real sugar cane. It hit me just right.    I ate nearly everything. The mussels were excellent. The empanadas were very good. The plantains were good, but considering how people rave about them, I was somewhat let down. I walked home full, buzzed, and quite content with my lot in life. I read a chapter in my ridiculous but entertaining book, called the boys for good night murmurings and despite knowing the dog was in a deep depression without me, I once again fell into a deep, satisfying sleep.

Wednesday morning, something happened that almost never happens, I woke up before the alarm but not of a nightmare. I am more shocked than you, I promise. I walked to work and intentionally smiled at everyone I passed. I think it made people nervous. Har! Take that New Jersey! My morning sort of got away from me and I ended up sprinting out at 1:30 to get some lunch before I had to teach. I got truck food! First time ever! I had curried lamb and saag paneer with rice. When I got to my desk, intending to hoover it down, I choked on the second bite. Before I could stop myself I said "There's a bone in my meat!" Hilarity ensued. Then my friend, Phil, to whose house I was going for dinner said "You're having Indian for dinner!"

"One billion Indians eat Indian food three times a day every day! This American can eat it twice today!" I thought it was a good response.

"Who'd you get that from?" asked one of the managers.

"I dunno. Some guy."

"Some Guy! Some GUY? You don't know who?"

"No. Because. I. Don't. Know. Anyone. Here." I only barely managed to avoid adding the words "WELL DUH" to my response. Filtering! It works if you work it!

Class went better on Wednesday. I talked about balances for much longer than the attention span of my students errr spanned. What can I say, I love the meeting of math and money and on the fly calculating! After class, it was off to dinner.

Phil is a bald faced liar when he says his house is a wreck! It is far less wrecky than my house was at move in. And it's much less wrecky than a lot of houses we looked at last year. Mrs. Phil was a sweetheart. And the food was awesome. So delicious-- Indian dinner followed by Tiramisu. Nomtastic! I hope sometime I can cook for my JC friends. Preferably I'll be in a kitchen bigger than a breadbox.

Thursday dawned with no plans for the evening. It was Charlie's birthday back in Omaha and I was a little weepy when I woke up and wasn't home with him on his special day. I went in to the office, did some work, taught some validation rules and process stuff. Then it was quitting time and Matt totally punked out due to a pinched nerve. I guess some people have reservations about mixing prescription painkillers and booze. Who knew? So my awesome boss, Jim D offered to take me into THE CITY. New York City! I had never been.

We walked toward the water intending to take the Path train to the financial district. I suggested we take a ferry, since I'd missed it the other night. As we got on the ferry it sort of. . . lurched. I wondered if this was such a good idea, since I get sick playing Mario Kart and all. I figured though that the ferry ride wouldn't take long, the harbor wasn't that big. GUESS WHAT? About 2/3 of the way across the Hudson Bay, the Coast Guard came out in their inflatable boats (with machine guns!) and the NYPD harbor cops came out and they Stopped The Ferry. We started going around in circles.   And around. And around. With a brief interlude were we stopped going in circles and instead backed into a pier across from our landing slip. No ferries could go forward. No ferries could go back. President Obama was landing at the helipad for a fundraiser dinner. . . at some point. So I hauled my knitting out of its ziplock bag and tucked it into the side of my laptop bag. Then I prepped the ziplock to receive a hearty shower of barf. Jim D suggested I go stand out by the rail. I went out and the boat continued to lurch in such a way that I thought that side was likely to result in splashback. So I went back in and crossed to the other side and hung my head out like a pathetic loser. The ferry captain's assistant asked me "You gonna barf?"

"I dunno. Maybe."

"I been doin' this 20 years. I never barfed."

"Well, we don't have ferries where I'm from."

"Where you from?"

"Nebraska."

"Don't you have water there?"

"Well, yes, but we have bridges. The Missouri is not wide enough for ferries."

"Well, just let if fly. There's been worse stuff in the Hudson. It's just fish food."

" . . please. . .stop talking." Font shrunken to reflect my patheticness. Patheticity?

I went back in and clenched my jaw. In all, we went around in circles for over 40 minutes. Then Jim D called and texted everyone about what a lamentable dumbass I am. While he did that I happily paid $1.50 for a can of coke to settle my stomach. And then! WE WALKED! To the subway!

I took the subway for the first time where I flaunted all convention and talked to strangers in my usual cheerful, oblivious manner. I think I freaked out a group of teenaged African American dudes. That is like a reversal of nature or something. Here is me on the subway, trying to look like a disgruntled resident of New York. How awesome is that laptop bag? In my opinion it is totally awesome. It is loud and plasticky, like the davenport of many Italian Nanas!

So we walked to Wall Street! I saw the NYSE! Jim D took this pic of me by the Bull on Wall Street. And this one by the lion in front of the New York Public Library. And this one in Times Square. Times Square is like Disneyland for grownups. I saw the memorial to the most decorated Army cleric ever, Father Duffy. And we went to Roxy Deli, which has no website, but does have cheesecake so good it's a religious experience. We walked for close to 3 straight hours after the subway. I saw Radio City Music Hall and 42nd Street, but didn't get great pics of them. At last, we got on the bus, where one last New Yorker got to be surly to me, an old lady who proclaimed when I didn't move back "I HAVE A CART." I was having too good a time to snarl at her. Now though? Dear New York: I can't reach that overhead bar so step off, I'm not moving back. We took the Path train UNDER THE RIVER to get back to NJ. I got back to my hotel at about 9:30, feeling a little guilty that poor Jim D still had to commute home for almost another 2 hours. He worked from home on Friday, so he slept in.

Friday, I woke up sad my trip to Jersey was over. Next time I'm bringing my good camera, and coming in on Sunday so I can see more stuff. I consoled myself by having an iced coffee and an old fashioned from Dunkin Donuts. The coffee at the grocery store is not as good as in the DD. Must be that Hudson water. I didn't get as much work done as I wanted, but the car came for me at noon and I was glad to be on my way back to the monkeys and Jason and the dog. The dog and Charlie gave me the best welcome home ever. Augie and Jason were glad to see me too, but nothing compares to a dog and his boy.

Crescent Shawl

2011-07-29T07:24:00.001-05:00

IMAG0341.jpg, originally uploaded by fudh4x0r.

Clearly, I need to work on lighting for Droid photography. This is draped over the back of the recliner.

The Summer of Meh

2011-07-28T20:37:00.000-05:00

I do not think I can cobble together a list of the books I've read since my last book related post, even if you held a gun to my head. I suppose I could figure out what I've read on the nook, and recall a couple of library books I've read. I will get to that later. . . .

Work on the house continues at our usual pace-- a day or two of sturm und drang and paint and arguing followed by a week of slack. Well, if working and doing laundry and cooking and all the other administrone can be called slack. The new windows are done, the garage door is repainted, the trim is nearly painted. Wall painting continues and feels as if it will continue forever.

I've gotten in some knitting. It was my intention to finish a blanket for lovely baby Jacinth and a shawl for lovely Aunt Bonnie prior to the end of the first week of August. That will not be happening. Well, perhaps one of them.

The shawl is being knitted in a vaguely crescent shape. I have a 14 row repeat that consists of one row of YO K2 TOG, 3 rows of stockinette, 3 rows of stockinette where there are 11 evenly spaced KFB increases on the 2 knit rows, and then 7 more rows of stockinette. The Paton Lace has delightful long color changes, but as the crescent has increased, the stripes were getting narrow. Thus, I shall manipulate in part of a second skein in order to balance it out a bit. Once I finish this repeat I'm on, I shall do a row of K1 YO to double all the stitches and have a nice ruffly bottom until I run out of purple yarn. I hope it softens a bit with washing as well. I'm getting a bit of a dry spot on my tensioning finger. The yarn being 80% acrylic is going to require a steam block. I haven't done that before and my ironing board died a quiet death. I opened the closet one day and it was in the closet in 2 pieces. The welded spot have given up the ghost. I can't remember the last time I used the ironing board for anything other than blocking knitting. I'm a slattern.

My blanket body is finished. I've picked up and knitted along the border and I THOUGHT I had increased to the correct number of stitches for feather and fan. The joke is on me. My plan was feather and fan along the straight-aways and increasing feather and fan at the corners. Maddeningly enough, someone decided to move my stitch dictionary from the sofa to the floor. The floor right by the litter box. I shall be requiring a new copy of Vogue Stitchionary Volume 5. Diablo even had the nerve to walk around yelling at me in that abrasive cat fashion. I may chuck it in and do a simple lattice border.

Hamlet Knits

2011-06-13T21:39:00.000-05:00

You remember Hamlet, right? Over-thinker, underachiever. In the world of deciding what to knit or how to design my knits I am TOTALLY Hamlet. I have a thing for knitting baby blankets. Sadly, I cannot keep up with the rate at which my friends appear to be breeding. I am considering a pi shawl sort of blanket, but I want to start it from the outside and go in. How screwed would I be if I ran out of yarn? Completely and totally. I am also considering a different shape, where the decreases are made in 4 pairs, so that I make a giant square. Perhaps something stripey, where I'd have options for more colors is the way to go on this one. Or perhaps just start with an obscene amount of yarn and a receipt to take it back. I'm not clear on what is an obscene amount though. . . 69 ounces? snicker. My previous pinwheels have consisted of 750 grams of bulky and 22(ish) ounces. Perhaps some nice yarn overs and slipped stitches would stretch it out a bit. I suppose I should start swatching.

I am also pondering the creation of a knitting app for the droid to track the stitches in my stitch dictionaries and others. I would love to be able to query for different stitches based on the number of stitches or rows in them. . . .ah, database design. So many potential pitfalls. I swear I am not using this idea as an excuse to buy more of Barbara Walker's stitch dictionaries. I am fully admitting I just like them.

In This F-cking Old House News: we are still chipping away at the house. Whoever buys this place will be crazypants lucky. I've gone to see inside 3 comps for open houses in this neighborhood. So far, we have the best smelling basement. Our house has also been weather-proofed better than the others I've seen. Also: I have masonry paint stuck to my hair and under my nails and I think I may be 5% drywall dust by weight.

Today on PBS

2011-05-30T08:05:00.000-05:00

On a new episode of This Fucking Old House, our homeowners frame walls and hang drywall as they finish their basement. For extra excitement, they've called in the father in law-- Mister Fucking Perfect. Not only is he the president of the Fucking Perfect Club, he is the founder. And he has a pickup.

I really think people would watch a reality show of Jason and I fixing this house. First of all, we are 100 times more anal than any contractor, secondly nothing is plumb, straight or level in a 60 yr old house, so a project like our basement provides enough footage for a whole season.

We've been churning on the house like crazy, in the hope we will get it listed by July. We know what we want to get and we know what other houses are like in our neighborhood (crappy). Our hope is that by making a room in the basement and getting everything painted, polished and decluttered prospective buyers will find ours the easy choice.

Today while the dudes are in the basement, I intend to work on laundry (like every day) and paint the porch and foundation. CURB APPEAL, BITCHES!

Book 16: Allison Hewitt is Trapped

2011-04-26T20:15:00.000-05:00

When I'm not reading IT books or romance novels or mystery novels, I like zombie fiction. Yes, that English degree is not going to waste at all! My professors must be so proud to have taught me. This book is framed as being submitted for the historic record of the Zombie Plague. It's the blog of one woman (Allison) who was a hero that contributed to the ultimate survival of the human race. A very good read. The pacing was good. The characters were well done. The ending was not what I expected, but I am not a spoiler kind of reader/writer.

Allison and some of her coworkers are trapped in the bookstore where they work, surviving on beef jerky and juice until they bust out. They do some moving around and there are some casualties, as you might expect. There is also some great ass kicking and axe wielding. I sort of like how the overall zombie genre doesn't agree about what zombies are capable of and if the plague is transferrable to animals. Some surprises in how that all plays out.

Book 15: Prelude to a Scandal

2011-04-26T20:09:00.000-05:00

Ok, so the writer is a very good writer, but the relationship was mind bendingly stupid. The hero is basically a sex addict who's screwed up his life but good. I dislike it when my historical heroes have their problems framed through the modern lens. The heroine is a big ole nerd who agrees to marry him because he's getting her dad out of jail. Offputting. Her dad's in jail for writing a book saying homosexuality is no big deal. AGAIN with the modern framing. Then! THEN! When our hero finally tells his wife with whom he has not actually had sex that he's a male slut, she makes him promise to get rid of the portrait he beats off to AND stop beating off! And he agrees. I don't believe any dude on earth is giving up polishing the pole. CRAZYPANTS.

Book 14: Socially Responsible IT

2011-04-26T20:02:00.000-05:00

I read this for my CSTE certification upkeep. It was quite a dry read. It is also very idealistic. I read perhaps 5 or 6 IT books per year and I don't really have any outlet allowed by my employer for my thoughts on them. I do recommend the book to other IT professionals, especially those who are empowered to implement policy. I would also recommend it to job seekers. When you are in an interview and they ask if you have any questions you can really dig in with the topics in here.

Book 13: Love in the Afternoon

2011-04-26T20:00:00.000-05:00

At last, I've finished up with the Hathaways series. I must say, I thought the hero a dreadful snob who needed to get the hell over himself. And the heroine was the type of girl who never speaks up but wonders why people take advantage. I do like Kleypas, but this was not my favorite of hers at all.

Wear Protection

2011-04-03T16:19:00.001-05:00

IMAG0206, originally uploaded by fudh4x0r.

I am dying wool for the mitered cross blanket and neglected to wear gloves. I thought I had bleach. Not so much.

I am really, really overthinking this project and I haven't even cast on. Sad!

Book 12: Made By Hand

2011-03-27T08:47:00.000-05:00

Obviously, I am a fan of making things by hand and fixing what I have, but I still put down this book thinking that Mark Frauenfelder is kind of douchey. He's pretty oblivious to what a privileged life he leads. I am so sick of fixing things (and cleaning the things and fixing the things that clean and cleaning the things that fix) that frankly at the end of the day, I don't want to make a cigarbox guitar. I want to knit or read a book. I harbor no illusion that a baby blanket is qualitatively superior because I made it. The value is based on emotions, the sentimental ties between myself and the recipient.

So Frauenfelder has kept chickens, and thus built a chicken coop from wood he saved when tearing down a shed. He has several instances in the book where he talks about all the bits and bobs he saves because he might use them some day and all I can think is "his poor wife." (I read recently, by the by, that Chickens are the New Knitting. At one time Knitting was the New Yoga. I guess time marches on.) His life is very full of stuff, it's just old junky stuff instead of new shiny stuff. I must just be too middle class to appreciate the nuances because I don't see how this makes him morally superior, which is definitely the undercurrent of the book. I do feel superior to people who can't fix a flat or drive stick or make bread or replace a button or catch a fish or grow tomatoes or patch drywall or glaze a window, but that is intellectual superiority. And intellect is an accident of genetics, not something meritoriously earned.

To my way of thinking, keeping stuff because you might need it in the nebulous someday is the underlying issue of our consumerist mentality. I don't lead a low stuff life by any stretch, but maybe from being in a smallish house with 3 other people, a dog and 2 cats I have begun to think of what it costs me to keep things. How much room does this take up? What do I pay per month for that space? How long do I work to earn money to have the stuff? Are those hours at work worth the cost of this stuff? How much upkeep will this thing take in terms the time I'm not at work? If something is not consumable, I don't want to make a commitment to it where the stuff owns me instead of me owning it. This is probably why I have more yarn and books than clothes.

I was hoping for more tutorials in the book but this is not that type of book. Mark may have learned from his mistakes along the way, but we don't really have the information to do so. I get it that he finds the learning and the improvement a vital part of his process. I am all in favor of those things, but I am also no fan of reinventing the wheel. My scrolling screen saver for a while was "If you don't have time to do it right, how will you ever find time to do it over?" So if you are looking for hard info on how to keep chickens, bees or a garden or how to build a cigar box guitar, this is not the book for you.

Maytag Still Sucks

2011-03-22T12:12:00.000-05:00

here is the unsurprising email response I got from Maytag:

Thank you for visiting the Maytag web site.  We appreciate hearing from you.

I am very sorry to learn of the problem that you are experiencing regarding your
dishwasher. Based on the information given, it appears your appliance requires
service.

We, as consumers, can certainly understand and appreciate your feelings and
frustrations.  When a product fails to meet a consumer’s expectations, it
concerns us.  While we make every effort to ensure only the highest quality
materials are used during manufacturing, we cannot guarantee an appliance will
never need repair. 

Due to our remote location, it is difficult to determine the exact cause of the
problem that you are experiencing, and we do not have provisions for detailed
technical assistance.  We suggest for an accurate diagnosis and satisfactory
addressing of any malfunctioning component that may be contributing to your
concern that you contact one of the factory qualified service companies listed
below.

In an effort to administer our warranty fairly to all customers, Maytag
Corporation complies with our legal, written, product warranty.   Once a product
warranty has expired, any costs for maintenance, service, or component
replacements are then within the owner’s time frame of responsibility.  We
regret that due to the age of the product, we will be unable to assist with the
cost of the repair.  

You are a valued Maytag customer and we apologize for any inconvenience this
concern may have caused.

You may schedule service directly from our website using the link provided below
or by calling our Customer Experience Center.
http://www.maytag.com/support/service_parts.jsp

We invite you to contact Maytag again either by calling (800) 344-1274 between
8:00am to 8:00pm EST weekdays or by emailing whenever the need arises. When
calling please press the available option or stay on the line to reach a
representative.

Sincerely,

Amanda L.
e-Solutions Specialist
Maytag Customer eXperience Center
http://www.Maytag.com

Maytag Sucks

2011-03-19T16:33:00.000-05:00

So, The Mister is a video engineer and thus, handy with the electronics. Today, for grins, we took apart the face of the dishwasher and got out the diagnostic sheet taped to the bottom of the unit. Turns out that Diode P-13 burnt up. Guess which cycle buttons use P-13?

Go on! GUESS!

If you guessed ALL OF THEM you are correct.

My friends, Maytag is officially crappier than your average string of Christmas lights, but instead of costing 5 bucks, it cost about five hundred bucks.

I am officially The Woman Who Hates Maytag. And I have pictures up on my flickr page. Oh, and again, this dishwasher was purchased on Halloween 2009, so it is less than 18 months old.

Top O' The Mornin' To YOU!

2011-03-17T07:16:00.001-05:00

Books 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

2011-03-16T06:52:00.001-05:00

Unveiled and Trial by Desire by Courtney Milan-- I liked Unveiled quite a bit. A most excellent resolution on that one. Trial by Desire I was lukewarm on because the hero was Too Stupid To Live-- he was all angsty emo-boy and frankly, I wanted to slap the hell out of him.

When Beauty Tamed the Beast-- by Eloisa James. This is a retelling of the fairy tale, put in a blender with House. Eloisa James owes us more than this. She is a good writer and I'd rather she put out one book a year than churn out something so. . .rehashed. Not up to potential. I suppose if this were the first book of hers you'd read it would be ok, but I expected more.

Notes From a Small Island-- by Bill Bryson. This book is funny but the time line is all jumbled. I was not always able to reckon about which stint in the UK Bill was writing. I would say this is better vacation reading that bedtime. It needs to be read in long stretches, rather than 30 minutes or so a night.

The Third Revelation -- by Ralph McInerny. Most exciting read of the year. This is a mystery about a former FBI agent, working with the Vatican to recover the stolen 3rd Secret of Fatima and solve some murders. Ralph was Catholic, so this is not like reading anything by Dan Brown. Also, Ralph was a scholar, so this is not like reading anything by Dan Brown. Yes, I went there. If you are not pretty familiar with Catholic Apologetics and Church history, you will want to read this with the innernets handy. I did have to look up a few things and I think I'm slightly above average among Catholics in my knowledge. Sadly, there are just 2 books in this series. I have been informed that the Father Dowling mysteries do not suck like the tv show. Very encouraging!

Shawl from Paton Lace

2011-02-14T10:21:00.001-06:00

IMAG0162.jpg, originally uploaded by fudh4x0r.

80% acrylic, 10% wool, 10% mohair. This yarn has a nice halo but after knitting with it for several hours over the last 2 days, it's sort of irritating to my index finger, which I use to tension the yarn. It is super pretty though, and machine washable.

I started with the old garter nubbin-- cast on 3, knit 6 rows, turn 90degrees and pick up 3, turn 90degrees and pick up 3 more. Then some exploding increase rows with the old KFB. Pattern started once I got a good half moon:

It's stockinette stitch with 3 stitches in garter on each side. When this is blocked (with steam on account of the acrylic) that garter stuff will be the top edge.

Increases are on every other knit row, 10 KFBs, evenly spaced

I'm throwing in eyelet rows on the knit side about every 8 rows. Like a fool, I decided to do the decreases differently on each half of the rows. K2tog on first side, KRS on the other. My K2tog leans to the right. KRS, which leans to the left is made by Knitting a Stitch, Returning to Right Needle, Slipping the Second Stitch over. So it goes for the left handed mirror knitter.

To make a neater edge along the sides I knit the last stitch twisted-- for me that is through the front loop, but for standard knitters that is through the back loop. Then after I turn the work, I slip with the yarn in front, move the yarn to the back and continue in pattern. I can't believe how much I was bungling that for YEARS.

I am considering a picot bind off. . . .but that is a few days off yet.

I have another skein of this yarn and I don't think this shawl will require it, so I'm planning a lengthwise feather and fan scarf for myself.

Organic Cotton Scarf

2011-02-11T22:17:00.001-06:00

IMAG0157, originally uploaded by fudh4x0r.

I hope this means I've linked my blog to flickr correctly. Considering that I don't know how to turn pandora off when I use it on my droid, I don't hold out a lot of hope. I am remarkably lazy about learning to use technology if I'm not getting paid for it. I could be learning knitting instead! Or a new recipe. Or reading some genre fiction.

Cheers!

Cotton Scarf

2011-02-11T22:07:00.000-06:00

This is my latest finished object: a scarf knitted lengthwise from knit picks sport weight organic cotton. It's a nice cotton, not too hard on the hands. I like the natural shades of the yarn.

Books 5 and 6: My Lord and Spymaster and Forbidden Rose

2011-02-11T22:03:00.000-06:00

I also read these two books while sick last week. I really should have had a fainting couch. I was that pathetic.

I would not say the particulars of these books are any more realistic than book 4, which I panned. However, these were very compelling. The suspense and danger were paced with near perfection. The tension in the relationships was great without the hero having to be an insulting dickhead. I so despise the 80s style alpha hero. These guys were wicked smart, as were the heroines. They were quick thinkers, rugged, good at manly stuff without being dumbass macho pigs. That's a fine balance in books and real life.

Book 4: Scandal of the Year

2011-02-05T15:52:00.001-06:00

This book was a sidebar ad on Smart Bitches. It was one of 3 books I read last week when I was sick. Bronchitis bites it. Hero had a stick up his butt. Heroine was Victorian Emo. Eh. There were some good scenes, but the overall conflict keeping the two apart was . . . lacking something. It wasn't that I don't believe that women got divorced from rotten husbands in that day. But the husband was so ridiculously villainous, he may as well have twirled his mustache.

The Week In Review

2011-01-30T08:35:00.001-06:00

I have to send weekly updates at work on a project basis. I'm almost in the habit. Well, I would be if not for the fact that they are due to be emailed on Thursdays and I have 8.5 hours total meetings scheduled on Thursdays.

Jason's Aunt Doyle passed away, so he's out of town. Aunt Doyle was great. We will really miss her humor.

We haven't made much traction on the house. We did get the tree down. And I hired someone to make a run to the landfill with the old drain stack pipe, the old dishwasher, the old water heater, and some other old house debris. Now we can make more debris. I think the replacement windows for the basement would be great to work on, but I'm not the project manager. I'm just the minion!

I am keeping up with the laundry still, and it's such a relief to know that there are school shirts and socks and underwear every morning. I do have a little pile of mending to do and will probably tackle that today.

Speaking of mending, I FINALLY seamed the Baby Surprise Jacket and put on some buttons. It's . . . enormous. It would fit a 3 yr old. Trouble is, I don't know any 3 yr old boys. It's a very boy sort of color scheme. I will get a pic up on flickr today. This is my favorite part of the droid-- I can upload photos without finding some stupid usb cord.

I found a list of the books I read last year and didn't review! Then I lost it again! I did read Jane Eyre, which I'd never read before. I really liked it a lot, but I honestly wonder if Mrs. Rochester wasn't gaslighted by Mister Rochester.

The prototype shawl continues along. I am not sure which way to go with the Real Yarn. I may take the Citron and put different stitch patterns in lieu of the ruched bands. I read about Crazy Lace on ravelry, but cannot find a copy of it anywhere for less than $70. No. Just. . . .No. Apparently it is a way to knit lace without charts or instructions. I am dubious. There is a rav group, but they don't have much to say that is useful-- it's all adoration for the designer. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I just need actual information.

As it is the time of year when I often have a little windfall at work, I ordered Vogue Stitchionary 2: Cables,
2-at-a-time Socks, and Sock Yarn One-Skein Wonders. I really want to also get Stephen West's delightful pattern Clockwork. Of course, since I want to make it in Knit Picks City Tweed DK which I do not have in stash, I will have to get medieval on some other stash busting projects in order to buy the yarn. Note-- I have added the knit meter gadget to the sidebar.

First Finished Objects of 2011

2011-01-23T11:39:00.000-06:00

An acid green cowl for my coworker Stacy. Ravelry pattern is Ruched Cowl and it's free! I only used the smaller sized needles and it was plenty ruchey. It was a fun knit. She loves it!

Too bad that STUPID BLOGGER won't actually upload my damn picture. You'll just have to click the link.

There is another dumb bathroom shot of me in the hat I made for my other coworker, who had to fly up from Argentina in order to test unmasked data for me. It's summer there and of course, totally vile here. I finished this last night and errr, he flew home this morning. Sadly my droid is not uploading pics to flickr anymore. It's probably user error. I'm not reading a manual for a damn phone.

As it happens, I have 2 knitting related resolutions this year. I resolve to replace yarn at only half the rate I knit it. I further resolve that my yarn depletion method is not going to be FIFO or LIFO but instead will be cost based. I have several skeins of Supah Fancy Stuff that I really want to show off. And let me tell you, I've learned that anyone can appreciate a fantastic scarf but if you try to get people to pet a skein of yarn they just think you're off your rocker.

Book 3: Feeling Sorry For Celia

2011-01-23T11:30:00.000-06:00

This is a young adult book in the epistolary form, where some of the letters are real and some are from pretty funny imaginary societies. Elizabeth, the heroine has a completely out of control BFF named Celia, and a great penpal in a nearby school-- Christina. I believe that this was one of the recommendations I got when I looked for similar titles to The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society.

I really liked that in this teen book, teens actually HAVE SEX. Because let's face it, in real life, they do HAVE SEX. I also like that this book talks about consequences- emotional and otherwise.

There were a couple of unlikely twists that I didn't care for, regarding Elizabeth's dad and his new family.

Book 2: Seven Nights To Forever

2011-01-23T11:27:00.000-06:00

I must say, I am always dubious about happy endings for couples where one of them starts as a whore. The book was ok, but I agree with the commenter on the Smart Bitches site who wondered why the hero didn't exercise his rights as a husband on the bitch he married. If anyone deserved The Mrs. Rochester Treatment, it was whatshername.

Book 1: The Spymaster's Lady

2011-01-23T11:22:00.000-06:00

I did read additional books last year, but I just couldn't be arsed to write reviews of them. 2010 got a lot less pleasant there for a while, mostly due to work. (My new year's resolution for work is No Crying At Work. So far, I've kept it, but I did have to take a brisk walk a couple of times and there have been more cocktails in my evenings.)

Book 1 of this year was Joanna Bourne's The Spymaster's Lady. Pretty fun read, I must say. I loved how completely brilliant and wily Annique was. She kicked all sorts of ass, physically and mentally. I do like that in a heroine. I didn't much care for the Startling Conclusion About Her Mysterious Parents.

DIY = GFYS

2010-11-28T08:42:00.001-06:00

We are still working on the house in the hopes we can move to some place larger. We currently, by code, have about 900 sq. Our basement and much of our bedroom is nonconforming. We are still putting a bit of work into the basement because while the ceiling clearance is about 2 inches shy of conforming, it's still a useful space.

Jason and I were discouraged to see that several houses are being listed for about 88% of what we hope to get for our place. I suspect some of the properties are rentals being dumped. Jason says our garage is going to be a big selling point, as we have a 2 car detached and many houses in our zipcode don't have garages at all, and most of the ones that do have 1 car. I am not sure that will make the entire difference. We do have newer vinyl siding and windows, making the place a little greener and also quieter.

I am so very sick of the construction. We have tools all over the place. We spend great wads of cash at home improvement stores. We fight and fight during the work. I cannot really start talking about how miserable working on the house makes me because a.) words fail me and b.) no one wants to hear that random babble of whining. I have come to believe that old houses are like casinos-- the house always wins. The House Always Wins.

We do have mad-equity due to our shorter term loan, so staying and enjoying the economic freedom is not off the list of possibilities. It's a first world sort of problem, not being able to sell your house for enough money to buy twice as much square footage. I wouldn't mind though having a kitchen where I could comfortably feed 8 to 12 people and a finished basement where the boys could have sleepovers.

Book 34: Medium Raw

2010-10-04T19:39:00.000-05:00

I finished this some time ago and forgot to review it. I was only reminded of my lack of documentation because I had a sex dream about the author that was so shockingly filthy that I apologized to my husband the next day. I will not be blogging that.

Medium Raw is another installment from Anthony Bourdain. He has developed a better focus for his punk-rock rage and learned to apply compassion sparingly but appropriately. I both loved and hated his chapter on McDonalds. Well, I hated myself for the rather unpleasant amount of fast food I get for the kids. I have cut down though since we got a pizza place near us that always has cheese pizzas ready to go. I would dearly love to send my kids to uncle Tony's for a week so he could break them down. Picky little creeps.

Edited to add that this was in my drafts folder and I just never got around to posting it. Sigh. Rough year for writing.

Book 25 - Book 33

2010-07-04T09:42:00.001-05:00

So about 2 months ago, I got a promotion at work so work got busier. Then J and I decided we have had enough with our tiny house of eternal improvements. Work has been frantic. Home has been full of drywall dust and decluttering. I have a few post-its on one of my two desks at home with some scribbly notes about the books I've read in July and August. I'll be damned if I can find them.

Here is a list extracted from my pisspoor memory:

Book 25: Surrender of a Siren by Tessa Dare. Grade C. Decided to forgo the 3rd in this set.
Book 26: Succubus Shadows, by Richelle Mead. Grade B-, time to wrap up the series, I think.
Book 27: Werewolf Smackdown, by Mario Acevedo. Grade B+, sort of a downer ending, but action packed.
Book 28: Mapping of Love and Death, by Jacqueline Winspear. Grade C+, just lacked a certain something in terms of the mystery, but the action in Maisie's life is good stuff in this one.
Book 29: Confessions of a Prairie Bitch, by Alison Arngrim. Grade A-, so much fun to read. Arngrim has a great outlook on life despite some rough times. I admire her humor and her spirit a great deal.
Book 30: The Art of Racing in the Rain, by Garth Stein. Grade B. It's a dog book and we all know how it ends in dog books. The last time I read a dog book, I had never had a dog before. Now I have Barkimedes and this was a hard, hard read. Sniff.
Book 31: Other People's Love Letters, edited by Bill Shapiro. Grade A- Some very touching letters, some painful, and some bugfuck crazies.
Book 32: Twice Tempted by a Rogue, Tessa Dare. Grade B-
Book 33: Three Nights With a Scoundrel, by Tessa Dare. Grade C-. Sort of dreadful, really.

So here it is, week 36 and I am 3 books behind schedule.

The house is nearly sellable though. I packed up an entire carload of books and took them to the Omaha Public Library. I have taken about 3/4 of a carload of clothes to the Goodwill. I need to continue to purge. Apparently, you have to make your house look like you have not outgrown it in order to sell it. The people who buy our house should be so lucky as to have their lives expand to overflowing like our life has. We came in as two people and three cats. Now we are four people, two cats, and a hobo-dog. (RIP Melee, you were a good kitty, in your way.) It will be hard to leave behind the house where we made our kids.

In the last 10 years, we have gutted and redone the kitchen and bath. We ripped out a lot of disgusting carpet and redid the wood flooring underneath. We did vinyl siding, insulation, and new windows on the house. Siding and a new roof on the garage. We are repairing a few areas of drywall, installing a new waste stack, hanging gutter heaters, and freshening up the paint. So if you know anyone in Benson looking for a starter home, they would be lucky to get the place.

Book 24: Sweater Quest

2010-07-04T09:32:00.000-05:00

In this book Adrienne Martini knits a sweater by the Crazy Scottish Lady Who Sues People. I find it interesting which projects and yarns consume different knitters. I can certainly appreciate how much thought and work went into the design of this sweater but I find it unattractive and shapeless.

Martini has done a lot of research about The CSLWSP, fair isle knitting, wool, the Tudors, and Scotland. Of course, your average sweater project doesn't involve this much research. Generally, you rummage through the yarn store or your accumulated stash and then look at patterns on ravelry or in your favorite pattern book and then you knit it up. Martini had a book deal. Which is an ingenious way of writing off one's stash as a business expense. HATS OFF!

I would highly recommend that the confused spouses, domestic partners, coworkers and general acquaintances of the yarn obsessed pick this up. It will help you understand your knitterly loved one.

Book 23: Ten Things I Love About You

2010-07-04T09:29:00.001-05:00

I've lost my notes on this one. It is rather telling that without them, I am hard pressed to write a review. Very lukewarm reaction all around from me. I normally like Quinn's books because they don't have a lot of life threatening danger in them and the characters have sort of normal neuroses and petty quarrels. I read this while sick-- which I was for about two weeks. Also, while there are no library stickers on this book, I don't remember buying it. So I am not sure how it got in my hands.

Book 22: Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

2010-06-19T07:46:00.000-05:00

I was home sick for a bit this week and turned to some light reading when my head was too hurty to knit. In two days, I didn't even complete 2 rounds on the Pinwheel! So I picked out of my library stack this book by Molly Harper. The heroine is Jane Jameson (no, not like the porn star: JANE), a recently unemployed librarian whose severance package was a gift certificate to Shenanigans. That's just harsh. Unlike Electric Lemonades and Mudslides. She drinks away her severance, and climbs into her clunker only to have it break down on the side of the road. After Jane gets out to walk, she is mistaken for a deer by a road hunting driver who is even drunker than she. And along comes the mysterious guy from the bar, offering a cure for what ails her. I am deeply disappointed that Gabriel, our vampire hero, would drink at Shenanigans. Or any brass-and-fern place where the staff wears Pieces of Flair.

Jane rises 3 days later with the Unholy Thirst and no clear picture of what has happened to her. She is in different clothes and Gabriel's bed. Naturally, she freaks and runs to her home. Her ancestral home has a name and the sort of Southern Gothic charm that is probably not as common in the actual South as it is in the Fictional South. Everyone in books lives in spacious, charming old places that drip in moss instead of big old places that are hot as hell in the summer and leaky in the rainy season. When Jane gets home she finds her BFF, Zeb and almost feeds off of him.

Thankfully, Gabriel is a little stalkery-- he follows her home, rescues Zeb, tells a cautionary tale and then wipes Zeb's memory on the way home. MAN, I wish I could wipe peoples' memories. Or boost my own. Either way. Oh, and vampires have a variety of ancillary powers here. Strength, speed, heightened senses, blah blah blah. The set up of the vampire code in each series is a bit tedious. Fortunately, Jane has the Welcoming Committee basket, with a guide book even. And Jane has a roommate-- the ghost of her kooky grandmother. So, let's see we have Neophyte Vampire, Broody Sire Vampire, Naive Human Sidekick, Kooky Ghost. Don't worry, meddlesome family and surprise Werewolf will be along before you know it.

So Jane begins to settle in to her new life. She hangs out with Missy, the matchy matching realtor vampire. She meets a nice volunteer donor named Andrea. Jane even goes to Walmart where she gets some super sunblock, synthetic blood, and super vampire vitamins. She debates whether or not to come out to her family. Yes, this book takes place in a world where Vampires are Out. Meh.

It soon becomes obvious though that someone is out to get Jane. She fights with a guy in a bar and he ends up dead. Someone scrawls mean stuff on her car. Everyone thinks she's sleeping with Dick Cheney. Not that Dick Cheney. The Vampire Dick Cheney. No, the one with the gambling problem, the inappropriate banter, and the thirst for blood. Turns out that Dick was a buddy of Gabriel's back in the day. Gabriel was turned and then cast aside by his family. Several years later, a vampire turned Dick so that he'd be assured of being paid back on a gambling debt. Frankly, I find Dick more interesting than Gabriel. I am a big fan of inappropriate banter.

Jane's worsening reputation finally gets her called up before the Vampire Skull and Bones Club. When her enemy is unmasked, it's not a big surprise, and the reason was sort of boring and pedestrian. The Fight to the Death is pretty funny though. Since this is a series, you know Jane wins, right? She also comes out to her family with mixed results.

I am told by my coworker, who is an expert in the vampire contemporary, that there are 3 books in this series. I think that is about enough time to spend on these characters. I will probably check out the others eventually. However, since I haven't finished the Bloody trilogy about the Nazi-vamps, don't hold your breath waiting for more reviews. This was a light read, and pretty funny. Not a lot of sex, but it was umm. . . avidly described. I wouldn't go so far as to call it graphic.

Book 21: Ghosty Men

2010-06-15T21:52:00.000-05:00

Franz Lidz has intertwined the stories of the Collyer Brothers and his uncles. The Collyer brothers, Langley and Homer were New York City's most famous hoarders. The whole Collyer family had moved into Harlem in 1909-- right at the end of the housing boom there. Their father, Dr. Collyer moved out, or was crowded out and left to their own devices the bothers and their mother went Hoarder Wild.

When Homer was found dead in their home in 1947, over 130 tons of rubbish surrounded him. His younger brother, Langley, was nowhere to be found. The boys had long been media curiosities and rewards were offered by the major papers of New York City. Sixteen days after Homer was found, a workman removing garbage found the body of Langley. He had been pinned and smothered under a booby-trapped pile of junk.

Lidz's four uncles were varying flavors of crazy. Obsessive compulsive, paranoid, agoraphobic. I found it unsettling that Lidz dismisses the seriousness of their conditions and is further dismissive of pharmaceuticals to help treat those conditions. Not just unsettling: irresponsible, judgeworthy, crazy in its own way. He's pretty clearly reshaping their problems in a way that makes it tolerable for him to remember his uncles. People don't collect suitcases full of baggies because it makes them happy. They don't hoard shoelaces because it brings them joy. People hoard and keep and collect and squirrel away stuff, meaningless stuff because it helps them push away anxiety. It dampens a fire of misery that springs up out of smoke and nothing and mixed up brain chemistry instead of from some explainable event. If there was just an event, time would heal it, right? But this soup of crazy that afflicts people may as well be left under the pillow by the monster under the bed. And it's my second-hand understanding that long stays in asylums are not like relaxing vacations.

It's called Mentally ILL, not Mentally Awesome. And another thing! Pharmaceuticals are not the easy way out, or a way of making eccentrics conform. For FUCKS SAKE! They don't even make you feel high! If you're lucky, maybe there is a med that works for you. Maybe they make you feel like getting out of bed in the morning is not an insurmountable task with no conceivable reward. Suddenly, you could be able to be out in the world. Maybe the right pill will keep your brain from spinning out anxieties in the middle of the night like tops run by a monkey on crack.

So, if you read this book, or another book or see a movie where mental illness is sort of shrugged off as quirkiness (I could start a list here, but I won't. You're welcome.)I hope you SNORT DERISIVELY at that crap. Because it's not fun like a collection of vintage hats. It pretty much sucks.

Round and Round She Goes

2010-06-15T11:38:00.000-05:00

I'm knitting another pinwheel blanket. I just love the way these things look. Babies-- ROUND. Baby Blankets-- MYSTERIOUSLY RECTANGULAR. There is not much difference between a Pi Shawl and a Pinwheel. They are both more based on guidelines than rules. Very good for knitters who like to improvise, who don't like to follow patterns or who can't read patterns.

Last year I made a pinwheel in Knit Picks Swish Bulky, about 650 grams of yarn total. There were stripes of increasing widths alternating in melon and cypress green. I had 12 evenly spaced increase stitches (yarn-overs) in the even rows. I bound it off with an applied i-cord. That bind off about killed me. It took several hours only to end with a kitchener stitch.* Pinwheel 2009 was a bit ripply when done, but blocked out as flat as central Nebraska. The yarn did shed a lot in the first wash. The only pictures of it are on someone else's facebook page, because I'm a tool. I may bogart one for flickr. I am curious how the blanket has endured baby's first year and have sent an email for more info.

I am making the Pinwheel 2010 of Hobby Lobby's I Love This Yarn, which is worsted weight, using about 22 ounces of yarn. I chose the Autumn Stripes colorway, because it goes with Baby T's crib set. It is hard to find a machine washable striping colorway in heavier yarn. I just cannot face the number of stitches a sock-weight blanket would require. No. Way. I started with 8 evenly spaced increases (also yarn-overs), right before some white stitch markers, in the even rows. On the non-increasing rows, I knitted the yarn-overs to twist them. (For me, this is through the front leg, for conventional knitters it would be through the backleg). This creates a nice ridge for the increases without as much of a hole as a yarn-over knitted in the usual way. Then after 24 increase rows, I added 4 more but on the odd rows, between every other pair of white markers, these marked with green. After 18 of those increase rows, I added 4 more between the unsplit pairs of white markers, these marked with blue markers. So now there are 8 increases in each row. I thought this would help flatten the blanket. Since it is acrylic, I don't want to have to steam block. (Bawk! Bawk!)I may modify the modifications next time. I would keep all the increases on the even rows so that I could sail through the odd rows. I would go from 8 increases to 12 increases sooner so that my move to 16 was a little more balanced. However, my big modification for next time is that I am going to make a super long i-cord and then pick up and knit in an inward spiral. I have an aversion to eternal bind-offs.

However, I have another entire skein of yarn to go on this blanket before I dive into another blanket. The baby is due in 6 weeks and I think if I keep on with a round a night, I shall be ok. Granted, a round on this thing is now almost an hour long process. I will NOT be doing another i-cord bind off. Probably a crochet bind off. I am deeply irritated by the fact that in 4 skeins thus far I have found FIVE KNOTS. That is some poor QA at the Hobby Lobby Factory.

*You know how many good tutorials there are for left handed kitchener? Not many. Most of the tutorials start out with my most hated phrase in ALL OF KNITTING. "Since Knitting is Two Handed, Left Handed Knitters Should Consider Learning to Knit Right Handed." One day, when I've had too much to drink, I will really go to town on my hatred of that mentality and all the teachers and designers who say that. Bitches. The lot of them!

Book 20: Sleepless At Midnight

2010-06-13T21:31:00.000-05:00

I barely finished this book. There was a prodigious lot of skimming. The heroine was in a perpetual downward spiral of low self-esteem. The hero, despite being on the lookout for both buried treasure and an heiress wife, just couldn't stop himself from having his way with the heroine. A Major Violator of the Campsite Rule. It was too bad the villain had to monologue at the end. I'd have found that ending happier.

Book 19: Goddess of the Hunt

2010-06-13T20:29:00.000-05:00

After Book 18, I went right to the library and got this Tessa Dare title. I liked this one even more than the previous entry. This is the first of the Goddess Trilogy. On the whole a better name. The kids were with me at the library and in fact I had to bribe them to go, as they were totally in the middle of a level on Lego Batman for the Wii. I bribed them with Sonic. My idea of a great summer day: Giant Coke with Lime, Trashy Book, Low Pollen Count, Gentle Breeze. A Regency Great Summer Day: HOUSE PARTY IN THE COUNTRY! With ladies seeking husbands and gentlemen seeking fortunes. Also, there are picnics, walks to the village to look at bonnets and/or ribbons, hunting, and sometimes people get caught in the rain and are forced to make out shamelessly in gameskeepers' cottages.

Our heroine is Lucy Waltham. She's a bit of a hoyden as she has been allowed to run wild by her brother since the death of their parents, where run wild equals fishing and jaunting about outside. She's decided that she is going to marry her brother's friend, Toby, but that she needs to hone her feminine wiles in order to prey upon him properly. Naturally, she hones them on some other unsuspecting fool. Our unsuspecting fool-- sorry, hero! Our hero is Jeremy Trescott, Earl of Kendall. He's another of her brother's friends. Lucy sneaks into Jeremy's room in the middle of the night and hones him mildly. He promptly scolds her as he knows that Toby intends to marry, Sophia of the Giant Dowry. He's all discombobulated. As we all know, from our extensive reading of the genre, discombobulation is the first sign of True Luv. It is often mistaken for agitation.

The next day, the gentleman have a little discussion about What Is To Be Done. Henry, Lucy's brother, encourages Jeremy to flirt with Lucy in order to distract her while Toby snares his heiress. And so, they distract each other's brains out. Naturally, this is a massive violation of the Dude Code, whereby one may not bone a buddy's sister.

Sophia, it turns out, is a lot of fun. Lucy can't help but like her. There's no Chick Code, in case you are wondering. Mean girls often tell nice girls there is a Chick Code. They are only doing that to snatch a guy right out from under you. And then they are invariably mean to him too. I digress. In the absence of a Chick Code, Lucy keeps honing her wiles on Jeremy, and trying to make Toby jealous. Toby keeps dragging his feet about getting engaged to Sophia because he likes being in demand.

Naturally, Lucy backs herself into a corner with the wiles and suchlike. WHAM! Compromised! Parson's Noose! At this point, Henry starts acting like a cross between a concerned older brother and a garden variety jerky older brother. There is some fighting with Jeremy but in the end, the wedding happens and they are off to Jeremy's family home. Cue ominous music. Jeremy had an unhappy childhood. He wasn't supposed to be the heir, but his older brother died. His mother was a big old crazy drama queen and his dad was a first rate asshole. Oh, and all the tenants hate the family. So Lucy and Jeremy have to work their way through the pile of whackadoodle to get to the happy ending part. Naturally, the very end of the book contains the lead in to the next book-- Sophia has jilted Toby and R U N N O F T! That book comes out in a couple more weeks.

Book 18: One Dance With a Duke

2010-06-13T08:22:00.001-05:00

It's always a Duke, isn't it? So rarely One Dance With an Accountant. Sorry, accountants. I'm sure you're lovely. This book is the first in the execrably named Stud Club series. This is the first pick for the Smart Bitches summer reading club, which I inexpertly linked in the sidebar. (I can haz tek support?) Overall, I quite liked the story, but the hook for the series as a whole is sort of lame. But what do I know? I don't follow sports of any era.

The Duke in of the title is Spencer, who wants to get full ownership of a particular horse. He has cultivated an air of mystery about himself. The heroine is Amelia D'Orsay, a noble lady of genteel poverty, presumed to be on the shelf. OF COURSE. She's nearly twenty or somesuch nonsense.

Where was I? The Stud Club. Oh yes, there is a horse, Osiris, that was originally owned by a group of friends, and they each had a token signifying their share. The tokens could only be won and lost in games of chance, never sold or gifted. The horse has excellent bloodlines, and only token holders may breed him against their mares. Spencer wants to be the exclusive owner for mysterious reasons to be revealed later. Spencer has managed to win 6 of them in games of chance. In the last match, one of the unlucky gamesters at the table was Amelia's wastrel brother. Wastrel is Regency Speak for LOSER. He drinks too much and gambles excessively because of his tortured, tortured soul.

One of the 4 other token holders was killed after a boxing match in a dodgy neighborhood. One token holder feels responsible because he had ditched him. The other toke holder thinks Spencer offed the dead one. Spencer and Amelia get backed into the parson's noose. Every one is worried about the dead guy's deaf sister. After the wedding, the newly married strangers go off to rusticate in the country. Amelia hates riding horses. Spencer's teenaged ward hates Amelia. Spencer hates the other token holders. Jack needs more money. Spencer's other horse is ill tempered and moody. It goes on and on and on. I don't even remember who killed the dead guy!

The romance part of the story was good. Spark, humor, gradually coming to understand each other. A little ripping off of the clothes. Just too many threads in this one in order to plot out general direction of the other 3 books. It seemed to me that because this is the first of a series, another character in the book pretty much had to die. Besides the dead guy at the opener.

This was the first Tessa Dare book I've read, and I did actually go ahead and grab another title by her from the library.

I read this one as an Ebook that I downloaded from www.allromanceebooks.com in the Adobe digital editions pdf format. I read ebooks on a Dell Mini 10. The reading quality is not at all taxing to my really terrible eyes. (Dry, old, at a computer for far too many hours per work day.) The price was a bit higher than Amazon, but the book club has a rebate going on for participants which edges them out on price by the end of it all. Download was just as easy as the ebooks I get from the Omaha Public Library. All Romance has a much bigger selection of the really, really smutty ebooks than Amazon does. I wish they had a little better cross referencing. I am not sure how to say this without really, really putting too much out there. You can't adequately search for nuances of sexual proclivities besides orientation. Some Stuff I Don't Care To Read. At the same time, a tag cloud on a site that sells erotica would probably be pretty funny. Especially when you factor in the terrible spelling of others. What the hell is throbbingpens?

Book 17: Lessons In French

2010-05-29T21:53:00.000-05:00

Laura Kinsale's historicals are fun to read. The character of the bull was a bit dry though. Actually, being as I am from Nebraska, I really get enough cattle talk without it in my relaxation reading. The heroine has a bit of a boring shame spiral going on. I am a little tired of that old thing. Yes, she has freckles and red hair. B F D. She also has a crapzillion dollars-- of course no man could possibly really love her. Blah blah blah, yadda, yadda.

I want to believe

2010-05-01T09:00:00.001-05:00

I have somehow gotten a desk that has more UFOs than Area 51. I am currently working on swatching lace up all over the place, plus a baby blanket, a dog bandana, a couple dishrags, another hedgie, and and the scarf left unfinished from Ravelympics. Since Lent is over and I just got my tax refund, I wanted to find something to bind it off. I looked at 3 places and nothing really struck my fancy, so I am going to thread a lifeline in and then rip it back 2 rows and use that yarn plus the yardage that is still wound off to do the picot bind-off.

I am, quite honestly psyched out by the loveliness and the cost of two sparkly, costly yarns in my stash. Tilli Tomas sequined silk lace and Dream in Color Starry. I know the sequined lace will be a huge pain to frog if I bork it up. Hence the littering of lace swatches all over the house. Turns out that since I am a left-handed-continental-mirror knitter that my k2tog leans to the right just like a righty. My ssk and psso though? Completely buggered. I have been looking at videos all over the place in order figure out the mechanics of my mistake. This morning I think I may have gotten it right. Instead of Slip 1, Knit 1, Pass Slipped Stich Over I am trying now to Knit 1, Return to needle, Slip next stitch over purlwise. I need to practice more until it feels natural, but it looks like the picture.

I bought a couple of small lace stitch pattern books yesterday at The Empire of Fundies-- Hobby Lobby. For a bunch of Jesus Freaks, they sure treat their customers like crap. You can't return books there at all because you 'might have copied them all'. Normally, I buy knitting books from bookstores for this very reason. They don't treat me like I might have stolen from them. I rec'd 2 knitting books from HL for Christmas that were not to my liking and I am stuck with them.

This brings me to another thought, a criticism of Ravelry, really. I love Ravelry, but I am in general opposed to heavy handed moderation of internet communities. Rav does not allow negative feedback on their board for any yarn shops or such like (well, except for chain stores because, Big Business is Eeeeevil.) Because of this, all positive feedback is suspect. Suppose a store has 4 people who love it all over Ravelry. How then are you to know that 5 people really, really hate it? It's like the Fox News of Yarn.

Book 16: Mister Impossible

2010-04-25T21:30:00.000-05:00

A Loretta Chase novel recommended by the Smart Bitches (see the blogroll). I finished this some time ago. It was a fun regency romance. I tend to gravitate all my historical reading to that particular era. I don't really have anything to add on this you can't read from the Bitches. I just needed to keep my count somewhat on target.

Book 15: Not Quite A Lady

2010-04-25T20:15:00.001-05:00

Another Loretta Chase, also recommended by the Bitches! In Not Quite a Lady, the heroine's secret, shameful past is actually a secret and shameful. I really liked the ending of this book. I have another couple of Chase books on my library queue for summer reading.

Book 14: Home is Where the Wine Is

2010-04-25T15:04:00.000-05:00

Crazy Aunt Purl has another funny, philosophical memoir for us. It is not just a rehashing of the blog. There is new material in here. There are also patterns though I haven't done any of them yet. She has a lot of stories about reentering the dating scene. I would strongly encourage anyone wanting to read this book to read "Drunk, Divorced and Covered in Cat Hair" first. Or the archives of her blog. The context is good. CAP has some good dating and travel stories in here. If you have ever wanted to travel by yourself, her stories of doing so are great-- practically propaganda for the solo act.

Book 13: The Living Dead

2010-04-25T14:58:00.000-05:00

Zombie Short Story anthology! The stories range from tragic, to terrifying, to NOT ACTUALLY CONTAINING REAL ZOMBIES. I resent the addition of metaphorical zombies and people just talking about their contingency plan. The bulk of the stories were good, don't mistake me. However, this ginormous book could have been a reasonable size if about 4 of the stories were left out. The opening story "This Year's Class Picture" was great-- the story of a lone teacher and her zombified charges. Also worth the read was "Malthusian's Zombie" which is creepy enough for a beginner to the zombie genre but not over the top gross. There are a lot of big names of horror in here and some smaller names, so this anthology would also be good to pick up for ideas of authors you may want to try.

Book 12: Coyote

2010-04-25T14:52:00.000-05:00

This is the opener of a SF series on space exploration by Allen Steel. I read a short excerpt of this online and then felt compelled to get the full length novel. Imagine a future where the US has busted up into 4 nations. The South has all the rednecks and of course, they are persecuting the intellectuals and other dissidents. So what do the intellectuals do? (edited 5/1 for clarity) They steal a billion dollar space exploration vehicle, go into cryosleep, and wake up a couple hundred years later on a Strange New World-- Coyote, one of the moons of a distant planet. They set about building homes and lives and civilization. The 200 yr old teenagers grow up. And then, eventually, another ship shows up.

This book was very well written. The characters were great and the whole pioneer spirit was woven into the new future. I was not sure where the political parallels were going until the very end. I really approved of the final resolution. And that's all I want to say, because I would rather say too little of the book than too much.

There are other books in the series, and I expect they will be scattered throughout my summer.

Book 11: Lord Loss

2010-03-27T20:58:00.000-05:00

Darren Shan's opening novel for this Demonata series makes the Vampire's Assistant series look like the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. Shortly into the book Grubb Grady loses his family when they are slaughtered by a demon named Lord Loss. He descends into nightmares, madness and grief. His Uncle Dervish comes for him and they retreat to the old family estate. This is the opener in a series. I don't think I have the stones for it. It's just too bleak. And I am on a non-bleak-self-medicating-books sort of kick. I actually finished this months ago and didn't even want to review it. I didn't dislike it, and I do think it's a good offering in the arena of tween-fantasy. It's just . . . not for me.

Book 10: A Girl's Guide To Vampires

2010-03-27T20:44:00.000-05:00

Katie MacAlister writes some funny books in the contemporary arena. One of my coworkers gave me this one because she is all about the paranormal. This one was funny but the plot was sort of all over the place. Vampires, serial killers, crazy witches. My real peeve with the book was the hero's propensity for calling the heroine "baby". I hate that shit. The ending is pretty clearly a set up for a series. Sigh. It's all about the branding and the series I suppose. I don't know if I want to read the others in this particular series, but I may check out MacAlister's steampunk books. I do love the weird vintage engineering.

Book 9: Playing With Fire

2010-03-07T20:13:00.000-06:00

Belle Jamison is a young woman with no career to speak of, practically no social life, and only 1 living relative who depends on her for material support. Clearly, what such a woman needs is uncontrollable superpowers, an idiot sidekick, and a hot boyfriend with a LOT of baggage. Fortunately, the scenes of Belle acting like a total moron are evenly spaced by two of my favorite things: sex and ass-kicking. It's a C-level book. On a beach I would have loved it. Before and after work during some truly awe-inspiring levels of PMS, meh.

The Agony of Defeat

2010-02-28T20:24:00.000-06:00

A heartbreaking loss in the 2010 Winter Knitting Games.

First, I didn't swatch, because swatches lie anyway. So I got about 60% done and decided the body of the scarf, done in stockinette, was too tight, and I needed a garter stitch border as well as a bigger needle. So I frogged it mercilessly during a conference call at work.

My next attempt had a bit too much garter along the lace side edge after the increases. I ripped it out a second time, but was only about 10% along that time.

I was not sure I'd have enough yarn, so I thought I'd alternate rows with a 3rd skein I had of the yarn from a different dyelot. Alternating rows is supposed to work! The internet says so! The internet lies. Froggy Frog Froggerson.

I was about 40% into it again, and realized I had an entire garter stitch row about 4 inches below where I was. RIPPIT, RIPPIT.

Today, I started the lace border and I ended up ripping it out and restarting it because I had buggered the increases.

Finally, FINALLY I got the lace edge as I like it but it is apparent I do not have enough yarn for a picot bind off and I don't think it will look right with a straight bind off. So the Scawl (Scarf-Shawl) is going to hang about on the 60 inch circular needle until I can get some black yarn so I can knit a border all around and then do the picot bind off.

Did I mention I gave up buying yarn and books for Lent. Oh yes, I did. I thought I'd give the savings to charity. Looks like I will actually be giving it to Charlie's Dentist. Darth Vader costume. Cape-related accident. You get the idea.

Book 8: The Ten Word Game

2010-02-28T20:09:00.000-06:00

I learned a new word! The style of this narrative is picaresque. Other books in this style are Don Juan, Tom Jones, and presumably, Diary of a Man Whore.

The single named protagonist of this is Lovejoy. Apparently there are a gajillion novels in the series and this just happens to be the one I picked up. Lovejoy is a 'divvy', a diviner who can feel it in his body if he is in the presence of a genuine antique vs a fraud. It doesn't sound like a pleasant experience. I don't know either, how this is supposed to work in London where so many of the buildings are older than most everything in Nebraska, for instance.

There are a lot of characters in this book-- more characters than intrigue I am sorry to say. And of course, Lovejoy boinks all of the women. He's one of those annoying men who says they love all women when really it's that they love having sex with all women and don't actually love any specific woman. I find this sort of man supremely irritating. Shocking, right? I sort of suspect a little of the Unreliable Narrator in that all the women he meets really want to have it off with him. He's not eloquent and he seems to eat like a pig. Since the earliest book came out in 1977, it's not like he's in his prime or anything. Do you suppose when he drops trou' that the Old Man Smell emanates from his junk?

Lovejoy (seriously, is he a granola-gigolo?) has all sorts of quaint slang-- Making Smiles in the Lantern Hours. DONNEZ MOI UNE BREAK. The only worse euphemism for sex can be found on infertility bulletin boards: Baby-dancing. "The kids are staying overnight at my mother in law's so we are making smiles. Yeah, I am gonna babydance his brains out" No. Just. . . No.

The persona is bigger than the mystery, which doesn't make it much of a mystery.

Book 7: Darkest Hour

2010-02-19T07:26:00.001-06:00

The 4th Mediator book. This time. . . it's personal! Suze's hot, ghostly roommate is the focus of this one. They are installing a hot tub and the digging unearths a box of letters that Jesse got from his fiancee, Maria de Silva, before he died. This brings Maria's ghost around and she is both stupid and angry. A delightful combination to be sure. Suze also meets a young kid who happens to be a mediator. You would think this would make her reevaluate her rather violent ghost busting methods, but not so much. It should be interesting to see if she ever grows up and learns to get along with the undead.

Curling is Not A Sport

2010-02-19T07:19:00.000-06:00

In the Knitting Olympics. All that Stockinette was making a giant tube so I frogged the hell out of it. I was on a conference call where I'd have preferred to be ripping people verbally. Stupid Team Player. I tried a bit of seed stitch but I had trouble with the counting after increases. So, I am going to reknit on larger needles, with a garter stitch border.

Book 6: Reunion

2010-02-18T21:13:00.000-06:00

Another Mediator installment from Meg Cabot. Suze is sort of in a rut. She is clinging to her ass-kicking ways instead of MEDIATING. I think Fr. Dominic should have her look up the word in the dictionary. The 4 angry ghosts in this one are pretty much vapid jocks who have it in for the guy who caused their fatal crash. Unfortunately, that guy is a nerd and there is some antinerdism in this book. Do Not Want.

Book 5: The Vampire's Assistant

2010-02-12T16:15:00.000-06:00

The second Darren Shan book. This one is Even More Gross and Scary! I am pretty sure my younger kid is going to love these some day. Darren is travelling around with Mister Crepsley, getting the hang of being half Vampire- half Human. He misses having friends so they meet back up with the Cirque du Freak so Darren can be friends with Snakeboy. Mister Crepsley is a pretty sympathetic character in this book. Again, there are a series of events spiralling out of control and leading ultimately to a pretty downer ending. From reading the prologue of the 3rd, looks like that will be more of the same. It's nice that the Vampire Lifestyle is not glamorized. Snicker. That must be so comforting for the type of Christian who thinks the Harry Potter books are Satanic Propaganda.

Book 4: The Ninth Key

2010-02-12T15:49:00.000-06:00

This is the second of the Mediator books by Meg Cabot. Suze is looking into a local real estate big shot who may be a murderer. Or maybe he's a vampire. In any event, his son is a hottie mctottie. This one seemed like there was a lot going on in terms of the plot. Not in a complex way so much as in convoluted. It was still pretty funny though. I would like to see Cabot do a little more research though about the Catholic church if she is going to keep Suze in Catholic school.

Book 3: Cirque Du Freak: Living Nightmare

2010-02-12T15:32:00.000-06:00

Darren Shan has written a series of Vampire novels for younger readers-- tweens? They are not quite for the young adult shelf. In this first one, the main character (also named Darren Shan) attends a Freak Show where he sees some amazing performances but also gets sucked into a chain of events that are beyond his control.

Darren and his buddy, Steve(?) attend, and after the show his buddy stays behind. He has seen and recognized that one of the freaks is an old Vampire (Mister Crepsley)he read about in a book. Darren stays behind because he is drawn to a magnificent performing spider, but seeing his friend confront Crepsley gives him ideas. Darren decides to come back later and steal the spider, leaving a note that says he will expose Crepsley if he comes after the spider. It's really true to the logic of a kid that age, to think they have the upper hand but have really not thought all the way through things. It is not as fun as you might think-- delivering that sort of smackdown to the short-thinking kid. Darren doesn't plan for the spider being poisonous. Nor does he plan for Mr. Crepsley being the only way to get anti-venom. Or for the payment he will have to make. Even after Darren makes good on his deal to Mister Crepsley, he tries to avoid the ultimate consequences of it.

The creepy factor of the book was greater than I had imagined a kids book would have. It's been a while since I read kids' books and the scary ones were not half as scary as the original forms of most fairy tales. The whole kids section at Books A Million (who has the biggest by far in the Omaha area) seems to be busting at the seams with fantasy, horror, and sci-fi books lately. I am eager to read more of it by other authors. I think the Sisters Grimm series is promising.

Book 2: My Life In France

2010-02-12T14:59:00.001-06:00

I finished this one in the second week of January and I liked it so well I didn't want to review it. I don't wat to sell it too highly to others who might not overlook its shortcomings.

The food-- oh the food. Lovingly described in detail over and over. It's not a book for dieters. Too much suggestion. Too much tempation.

The storytelling is mostly linear with many, many tangents. It was a lot like talking to my Grandmother used to be. sniff Julia speaks warmly of those she loves and pretty plainly about those she did not. (Also like Grandma B.) Julia is lefty in her politics and describes her repeated clashes with her father over their differences. I feel for her-- it is often difficult with my dad who, like hers, can't just agree to disagree. She is somewhat circumspect about her husband, Paul's, government job and how they handled the McCarthyism and other Cold War challenges.

If you are thinking of writing a book, Julia's account may scar you for life. My GOD! She makes it seem like a total pain in the ass. Of course, she also had to hand type everything and send it by overseas mail.

Citius, Altius, Fortius

2010-02-12T14:47:00.000-06:00

I'm knitting a worsted weight baktus-style scarf, with an added on ruffle (in a nonprincess sort of manner) for the 2010 Knitting Olympics. I am eager to cast on tonight during the opening ceremonies. For my training, I have knitted 3 more hats so far this year for the charity bin. I think I am getting a bit of the repetitive stress injury from the combination of computer work and knitting fun.

In other yarnly news, I have fallen behind in the picture taking of finished objects as well as the stash-logging at Ravelry. I did finally break down and get the interchangeable harmony wood needles from Knit Picks. They Are Fantastic. So much slicker and pointier than clover. I am tempted to take a pencil sharpener to my other bamboo needles.

First Finished Object

2010-01-19T16:04:00.000-06:00

Needles: Size 6US, 2 circulars
Yarn: Lion Wool Ocean Blue Prints, about .75 skein

Pattern: Improvised (guess how this will end!)

Cast on 80, K1P1 ribbing for 6 rows
Row 7 *K2 m1 (120 stitches)
Rows 8 - 14 K
Place markers every 12 stitches to show where decreases go
Row 15 *K10, K2Tog 110 stitches remaining
Row 16 and all remaining even rows K
Row 17 *K9, K2Tog 100 stitches remaining
Row 19 *K8, K2Tog
Row 21 *K7, K2Tog
Row 23 *K6, K2Tog
Row 25 *K5, K2Tog (this is a good place to switch to DPNs, you should have 60 stitches left)
Row 27 *K4, K2Tog
Row 29 *K3, K2Tog
Row 31 *K2, K2Tog
Row 33 *K1, K2Tog
Row 35 *K2tog 10 stitches remaining
Row 37 *K2tog 5 stitches

What this produces is a child sized tam, atop a generously sized brim. Since I am not a child, this was something of a disappointment. Too feminine to be worn by either of my children. So, I will have to send FailTam to a charity that accepts all woolen items, like Afghans for Afghans perhaps. This was a test knit for my planned pattern for some Cash Vero and Dream in Color yarn. Now I know that I should perhaps K1, M1 right after the brim and do fewer than 10 decreases every other round to make the tam more of a slouchy plate. Furthermore, the brim ought to be knit on size 5 needles to create the level of snugness I like and keep a neater looking rib.

Knitters Without Borders

2010-01-13T12:34:00.000-06:00

Ganked from Wil Wheaton

2010-01-06T21:55:00.000-06:00

http://www.steelheadstudio.com/100cupcakes/

OMG! Cupcakes! Decorated like games! For! The! Win!

Book 1: Jailbait Zombie

2010-01-06T20:16:00.000-06:00

Book 1? Seriously? Ok, 2010. Whatever. I shall roll back the odometer. Pageometer? No, wait. Bibliodometer.

So Jailbait Zombie-- another fun read from Mario Acevedo. This time, Felix Gomez is hunting some persistent and un(super)naturally intelligent zombies to protect the secret of the supernatural from regular folks. Felix also has to find out who is reanimating these undead and eliminate them too. Should he fail in his mission, the Vampire Bosses will send his buddy to stake him and skin him. No pressure, Felix! Of course, there is some weird psychic-mojo stuff going around and giving him crazy visions. And then the Mob gets mixed up in it! I do not know how so many genres can be crammed into one book without making a big, hot mess. Still, this amalgam of genres is what really draws me to these books. They could go so horribly wrong, like Frankenstein! Yet they have thus far ended up like quilts. I hope to God that Acevedo doesn't overshoot the mark, like the Harry Dresden series did. After he saved the whole universe, it was all sort of a letdown.

Along for the ride with Felix is Phaedra. She is the (mortal) child of a mobster, living with the death sentence of a terminal illness and the changes in her brain have allowed her to see things she shouldn't. She is in on The Secret and the Vampire Overlord Council wants her eliminated as well. Phaedra wants Felix to turn her to a vampire, cheat her disease-- something he has not done before and is reluctant to do. Phaedra is a trainwreck of dysfunction and she ends up being even more crazy than I realized. The last few pages, oof. A little disturbing.

It's interesting that in the whole vampire genre, I've yet to read of a Vamp who is all gung ho and evangelical about the blood sucking thing. The rules of the fiction (as currently written) seem to dictate that the Vampire feel shame for what (s)he is. Usually when a vampire makes another, it is because of force, accident or some sort of tortuous loneliness. Usually, if it's done on a whim or as a joke or a trick, the character turning another into a vampire is Eeeeeeeeeeeevil. It's as if writers are ashamed of immortality. Interesting.

Also? Acevedo's picture on the back of the book? Muy guapo. Sigh.

In other Book News-- I am reading the Harry Potter books to my son and it is so awesome. There was a time I wasn't sure I would have kids and it is really so much better than I imagined. It's also a lot harder, but today I'm just inexplicably grateful for what I have. Augie has always been more like Jason than like me and to find things we can do together is really precious to me. For just a few minutes he is snuggled up to me with all these long, slight, spindly limbs of his and he doesn't want to be anywhere else.

Resolved

2010-01-02T17:41:00.000-06:00

In 2010 I have a few modest goals:

1. Learn to Knit Lace and Socks
2. 52 books in 52 (more) weeks
3. Learn Visual Basic
4. Take the boys to swimming lessons
5. Go to Church at least twice a month
6. Do something movementy (let us not use the E word) 5 days a week

(Adjective) New Year!

2010-01-01T09:17:00.001-06:00

I'm shooting for easy instead of happy.

Book 53: A Duty To The Dead

2009-12-28T13:47:00.000-06:00

I believe this mystery was one of the NextReads recommendations I get by email from the Omaha Public Library. I highly recommend signing up for that from their website. You select the genres and each one gets a monthly email of recommended books. I save them for those times when I just don't know what I want to read.

A Duty to the Dead is by Charles Todd-- apparently a mother and son writing team. I cannot imagine such a thing. I am certain there would be insurmountable creative differences when I refused to include Jedis or Robots. The heroine of this mystery is Bess Crawford, a British Military nurse during WWI. Prior to the opening of the book, Bess had promised Arthur Graham that she would deliver his dying message to his brother-- a wrong must be set right. Bess has delayed in fulfilling this wish, but after the hospital ship she is on is sunk and she nearly dies, she realizes she has a duty to the dead.

Arthur's family is a trainwreck, a closed-mouth sort of trainwreck. There are three living brothers-- one who is unfeeling, one who has a clubfoot, and one locked in an asylum for the criminally insane. There is also a frosty stepmother and her nearly silent cousin. In setting right the wrongs, Bess has to dig around and pry quite a bit and naturally, the family sets up as many roadblocks as possible.

The pacing of this was quite good. There were some unexpected turns of events. I must say that I thought justice was poorly served on the family members. The ones left living ought to have paid more and the ones who paid with their lives ought to have paid less.

Bess's family also makes an appearance in the book-- her parents and her father's bat-man provide the appropriate contrast to the Graham family. At the same time, they are rounded enough to serve in future installments of the series. I may have to check out the other series by this duo-- the Ian Rutledge mysteries.

Book 52: When He Was Wicked

2009-12-28T09:05:00.000-06:00

A reread of one of Julia Quinn's Bridgerton series. I find it refreshing that the characters are worried about run of the mill things like barrenness, malaria and dying in childbirth. None of the dangerious spy-based intrigue or hidden treasures or paranormal crap.

Tangentially, I finally saw the "Twilightized" cover of Wuthering Heights at the bookstore. It has a sticker that says "Edward and Bella's Favorite Book." Of Course It Is. It's Stalkers: Old School. Stupid Sexless Teen Morons.

The heroine of this book, Francesca, is a widow. The hero, Michael is her late husband's cousin, heir and BFF. He happens to have been secretly in love with Frannie for quite some time. He was immediately taken with such guilt at John's death that he went to India for six years and got malaria. So there is a certain amount of dithering between "John would want us to be happy. . ." "How could I do this to John." Fortunately, among all the mindfuckery there is some of the real stuff. A little veiled dirty talk, certainly nothing compared to the type of dirty talk one might find in actual porn.

Going forward, I am considering a Filth-O-Meter rating system. I shall have to get out my notepad and devise a system. I promise to test it rigorously. I shall devise a questionnaire for my Contractually Obligated Fuck Buddy. (He came up with that term, not me, for the record.)

So, I have made my goal of 52 books for the year, with three days to spare! I am quite close to finishing number 53-- probably later today. Numbers 54 and 55 are also well underway. I have cast aside number 56-- Gossip Girl. Wow, does it ever suck the big one. So, watch this space for a couple more book reviews this year.

Book 51: The Mediator

2009-12-25T12:38:00.000-06:00

I stumbled on this book through the ebooks selection with the Omaha Public Library. Meg Cabot writes some funny contemporary romance for grown ups and I decided to try this paranormal young adult series as some light reading to store on my laptop. The heroine of our series is a Mediator-- she sees ghosts and helps them resolve whatever is keeping them here in the material world. Her style of ghostly mediation is typical teenager-- reckless, oblivious to danger, a little lacking in subtlety.

Suze has just moved to California from New York after her mom (a widow) remarries a carpenter with three sons. Not a lot of character development in these four guys or Suze's mom. Suze isn't so happy to leave her best friend and her hometown. Thankfully she is about 87% less of a whiner about it than Bella F. Swan. Suze's new house is an old place and her new room has a young, male hottie in it. I fear we are being set up for the ridiculous sexless teen romance in future books. So realistic!

Suze is also enrolled in co-ed Catholic school. I am interested to see if there is any theology in other books and if it is remotely accurate. Turns out that there is an older priest teaching at the school who has the same gift as Susannah. Sadly, Susannah has not yet gotten smart enough to take advice from a grown up. Maybe in book 2.

The big Mediator conflict here is that Suze has only gotten into the school because a girl blew her brains out over Christmas break. She's not too happy to see that she has a replacement. Things rapidly spiral out of control due primarily to Susannah thinking she knows better than the experienced mediator. Sigh. Teenagers.

Book 50: Undead Kama Sutra

2009-12-25T12:26:00.000-06:00

Half the fun of reading the Felix Gomez books in public is how distasteful the titles are to Twilight Fans. I can't wait to pick up Jailbait Zombies at the library. In this book, Felix is sent by both a dead client and the Araneum (like Godfathers, only bitier) to investigate and eliminate an alien menace. His leads take him to Florida where he meets up again with, Carmen a vamp with a ravenous appetite.

Carmen joins him on the investigation because her Chalice (aka snackfood) has gone missing while looking into some of the same strange circumstances. Carmen's side project is that she is researching (and doing some field work) on a Kama Sutra which restores psychic energies and may help Vampires be more human. Felix finds that Carmen has discovered a venomous spider whose bite returns the color to their skin and allows them to move more freely during the day-- temporarily at least. Some great action sequences and an ending of mixed results. I do like that these books have that hardboiled mentality about them-- the mystery is solved but it has left an indelible mark on Felix.

Book 49: Tempt Me At Twilight

2009-12-19T08:38:00.000-06:00

This was a grade C book. Maybe a grade B-. The hero was pretty much a dick, and I don't quite get what the heroine saw in him at all. The big 'danger-conflict' was rather contrived, almost as if it was cobbled into the story as an afterthought. I finished this a week ago and haven't really worked up the enthusiasm to write anything about it. It was an ok bathtub read, but it never made me late for work.

Commercials Which Must Be Stopped

2009-12-11T19:10:00.000-06:00

Kit Kat-- the one with the VILE, DISGUSTING chewing noises. Nasty. I can no longer face the kit kat, even the rare dark chocolate kit kat, without a shudder of revulsion.

This PSA:

Not just "NO" but "FUCK NO!" I want a present for Christmas, not an invasive scrape in my ladybusiness. If you must celebrate the festive season by honoring my ladybusiness then go for something buzzy.

Anything with the plastic Burger King Stalker. God, he's creepy.

The Lexus December to Remember Series. First of all, the sales for these are run every year. That makes it December As Usual. Secondly, who buys a car for someone? I have preferences! I despise the drive, look, and seats of my husband's car and I cannot imagine what he would come home with if allowed to select a car for me.

All the diamond crap. Shouldn't they show the real reason men buy women jewelry? You know, he pulls out the box and she hits her knees. Goods for Services. That's not very Christmassy.

The new one for splashless clorox. A woman wears a dress that probably requires a corset while pouring bleach into a pyrex measuring cup. Then the announcer calls the product liberating. This makes me want to build a bleach based incendiary device.

Any commercial that mocks nerds. I am looking at you Mac Guy. You can piss right off. And I consider the guy playing the PC to be a traitor to his nerdly people.

Go Me!

2009-12-10T09:38:00.001-06:00

Wow, I just posted that blank. I clicked too soon. I know, it happens to lots of bloggers. We can try again in 30 minutes.

I wanted to catalog some of the things I've learned this year. In reverse order:

I learned the Norwegian Purl this week during a run of Three Snowdays. I'm still quite slow at it, but I think it may become my preferred purl method.

I learned to purl without twisting my stitches. (Yes, I didn't realize I was twisting my purls until now. It's hard to be left handed. Many, many 'teachers' believe the solution to all my knitting problems is for me to just knit right handed. Those bitches can suck it.)

I learned to use a cable needle when I did a spiral rib!

I made a hat!

I learned I prefer 2 circulars to DPNs.

I blocked!

I kitchenered. Yuck. Do not love.

I did applied i-cord bind off!

I learned to pick up and knit stitches!

I learned to knit a flat piece in the round!

I learned to bind off and cast on in the middle of projects!

I learned the crochet cast on!

I learned the long-tail cast on! I was using an e-wrap until this year. Sad, but true.

I learned short rows!

Professionally, financially, and personally this year has been hard and long and unpleasant. Many times, the only thing I have felt successful at has been knitting. So in that way, it has keep me from getting drawn into a downward spiral. Thanks be to yarn.

Also, I am pretty sure I will not be reading 4 books in the next 21 days before the end of the year. I am not quitting, but I am ok with not making the goal. I did at least learn to quit before finishing books that are neither enjoyable nor educational.

Book 48: American On Purpose

2009-12-09T15:12:00.000-06:00

I am not much for late night television. Mainly because I am very much for sleep. Especially in quantities that can be described as 'adequate'. I have seen a few clips of Craig Ferguson on YouTube but I will probably never be a regular viewer. I saw a bit of stand up a couple of months ago and he mentioned his book. I promptly put it on hold at the library. As a Scott, he should appreciate my thrift.

The book is a pretty straight forward autobiographical thing. It is refreshingly free of excuse making. He's certainly fucked up a lot over the years but he does not blame anyone but himself. Also blessedly devoid of navel gazing and hand wringing. God I hate that shit.

Ferguson over and over expresses gratitude and bemusement that so many people have been so good to him over the years. It was especially sweet to read of how much he clearly loved his parents, and thought them genuinely good people.

Book 47: Succubus Heat

2009-11-29T21:20:00.000-06:00

The 4th Succubus book is much of the same-- demonic politics, sex, coffee, sex, unrequited love, sex, moral ambiguity, sex, and books, now with cats. I like most of those things. At the end of the previous installment, Seth and Georgina broke up-- she didn't want to have sex and drain his life force, she was afraid of him growing old and dying. Oh, and then he started screwing someone else and gave the whole lame ass line about how he didn't mean to and it just happened. That line is now, and always will be, total horseshit.

Fresh from her breakup with Seth, Georgina's attitude is so bad that she is put into timeout by her demonic boss. In other words, Jerome sends her to Vancouver as a spy for a rival demon, Cedric. While Georgina is on her evil commute, Jerome is summoned. With his powers bound, all of Jerome's minions are stripped of their abilities. It's an interesting plot twist that allows Georgina and Seth to finally boff like bunnies. Dirty, dirty bunnies. Even though Seth has a girlfriend. And Georgina has a boyfriend. Between mattress dances, Georgina has to do some snooping around to find out who bound Jerome, so she can free him before Hell appoints a new Evil Boss. Better the devil you know, I guess. I did call the binder, by the way. EARLY. It was not quite as apparent at whose behest that was done.

I did enjoy this book, but my enthusiasm is definitely waning for the series. I would like to see this limited to 7 books. Seven is a nice symbolic sort of number. There have been hints all along that Georgina, despite her deal with the devil, can some how be redeemed. I am a big believer in redemption, so I would like to see that happen. In all the Faustian, Soul Selling stories I've read or seen, the deal is presented as final. I don't buy it. I don't buy "Once Saved, Always Saved" and I don't buy the flip side of that either. So THERE.

The Final Stretch

2009-11-25T21:48:00.001-06:00

There are 5 weeks left to the year and I have 6 books left to read. As I am taking the last week of the year off from work, I would say I have a 70% chance of completing the 52 Books in 52 Weeks Challenge. This has probably been the year I have thought the most about what I am reading, what I have read, and what I am going to read. My brain is full. I do happen to have 6 books out from the library so if I don't make it, it's not for lack of books.

This year, I have at last learned to set aside sucky books! That only took 33 years from when I learned to read. I have felt a certain pull to read only books I might then find worth writing about. This is not a normal consideration. I think I am about done with the endless parade of series in the genre fiction I read. It is damn hard to find mystery novels, particularly period mystery novels. I am partial to the first half of the twentieth century.

I have decided to really ruthlessly weed out my shelves. There are a lot of books in there I felt I ought to read as they are classics or would improve my mind. I just don't have the space for things I ought to read. Or for things I'll never read again. Or for things the public library has. I shall probably drop the culled titles at the library for their fundraiser. It's easier than dealing with trading them at used bookstores. My house is just not getting any bigger and the chaos is pretty out of control.

Book 46: Six Suspects

2009-11-23T07:55:00.000-06:00

Vicky Rai had it coming to him. He's a corrupt, rich playboy who has escaped justice on more than one occasion. When this novel opens, he has just been shot at a party he threw to celebrate his acquittal on murder charges, charges he escaped by exploiting a corrupt system. The police find six suspects-- six attendants with guns at the party. The opening chapter is told by a journalist who has vowed to find the truth. No one should commit murder without paying the price.

The novel tracks each of the Six Suspect through the circumstances and choices that brought them there. Fate is capricious and unkind in this book. The pacing though is great. I was up much later than usual on a couple of nights due to this book. There is just not a good place to stop until you hit the end of a character's path.

I did not whole-heartedly enjoy the book. The American character, Larry, was poorly drawn. His poor grammar is supposed to show he's ignorant, but the errors Larry makes are not consistent and a couple of the words he uses are distinctly English instead of Texan. Maybe it's a translation problem. Additionally, Larry is so painfully stupid that it really strains belief. The character possessed by the ghost of Ghandi was more believable. Well, until a twist on that at the end that was off-key.

I did call the culprit in the book a lot sooner than if it were truly a crime story. This is really more of a social commentary.

Book 45: Manhunting

2009-11-22T08:04:00.000-06:00

Normally, I like Jennifer Cruisie. She writes some of the only funny contemporary romances out there. Also? No Goddamn Vampires. Yay. This one. . . meh. I think there was just too much attention to career angst. She's in mergers and acquisitions at daddy's firm, but longs for the days when she was just a small business consultant. Apparently she has a metric assload of money. He used to be an accountant or some such but started a hotel with his brother but he's finally getting bored in his semi-retirement. He manages the groundskeepers for the golf course. It's all first world bullshit. These are not problems I relate to. Somehow, I doubt anyone is writing romance novels featuring software testers on the brink of being outsourced. There's a bunch of really ridiculous feeeeeeeeelings stuff about baggage from past relationships. Not nearly enough sex. Also there is fishing.

Book 44: Don't Get Too Comfortable

2009-11-17T11:04:00.000-06:00

David Rakoff has compiled some thoughtful essays in here. There are also snide essays and funny essays. On the Snark-O-Meter I would nestle him between Sarah Vowell and David Sedaris. I liked the essay about his visit to Martha Stewart Omnimedia the best of them all. The Log Cabin Republican essay was also a good one, though not as thoughtful as when Joel Derfner went to Ex-Gay Camp. I really, really found the fashion essay to be a mean spirited and boring drag. Not that kind of drag.

I finished this book over 2 weeks ago and just didn't feel like blogging about it. I think that writing is taking the fun out of reading. IT'S LIKE HOMEWORK. Only I won't get a degree when I'm done.

Book 43: Ghosts of Belfast

2009-11-09T16:20:00.000-06:00

Sooner or later, everyone pays. In Ghosts of Belfast, by Stuart Neville, Gerry Fegan is haunted by twelve ghosts. All of them died at Gerry's hands, when he fought as a terrorist for Irish independence. He has been followed by them for years. The ghosts, all of them, dog Gerry's steps and keep him from sleep. When he drinks himself down, they plague his dreams. Gerry tries first to help the mother of one of his victims by revealing where her son's body is hidden. The boy is not appeased. After many long years, the ghosts have settled on a payment-- Gerry must kill the men whose orders he followed.

The pacing of this book is taut. The time line of it all skips back and forth from present to past. I am glad to say that Neville does it in a way that keeps the story clear. I actually spent 2 hours in the bath with it today because I couldn't bring myself to set it down. There is a little side romance, which I suppose is thrown into all the hard boiled books for some reason or another-- draw in the lady-readers? Humanize the protagonist? I don't find the later reason necessary, for the record. Neville has drawn a complex character who is both human and inhuman. Gerry has enough pangs of conscience without this need to be protective of Marie and her daughter. He lost his mother's love and fell away from faith due to his dealings in murder. The conclusion of this one was pitch perfect. The lone spoiler was on the flyleaf-- "This book is the first in a series." That is about as necessary as Hamlet Part Two.

For my international readers,(hahahahahah!) this is published in the UK and Australia under The Twelve. It is also reviewed by Adrian McKinty in his blog, which is linked in the sidebar. I thought I had certainly read of it first at his blog, however, since he just reviewed it last week and I had a hold on this at the library I now have no idea where I first heard of this book. Too bad really, I owe someone a thanks.

Book 42: X-Rated Bloodsuckers

2009-11-07T15:48:00.001-06:00

Another installment in the Felix Gomez Vampire Detective series. NO SPARKLING ALLOWED! Felix is a badass. I like that about him. He does his usual ass kicking in this book.

Felix goes out to LA to investigate the murder of a porn star at the behest of her best friend (another porn star). He is also sent on a secret mission by his Vampire Overlords to make sure there is no overt collusion between vamps and humans. The pacing was brisk. Interspersed among the many action scenes, Felix is really grappling with what it costs him to be a Vampire and the kinds of relationships from which he is cut off. There are a couple of fun minor characters. Happily they don't all get killed off either. While I am a bit tired of the whole vampire romance series thing that seems to be going around, I do like this series. It's not maudlin about the blood sucking. Felix does not angst about his immortal soul. He is playing the hand he's been dealt. Like a grown up instead of a 17 year old drama king.

Spoiler Alert:

I found the very last part of the book a bit unsatisfying. Much like the Baker Street Letters, there is a big finish about 30 pages before the end of the book. Personally, I prefer that mystery novels get wrapped up promptly after shit blows up or vampires get staked and left to shrivel in the sun. It seemed crass and somewhat materialistic in the book as well as BSL that the big show was a real estate-money making scam and the loss of human life was an afterthought. A fictional bait and switch.

Book 41: Soulless

2009-10-31T12:12:00.000-05:00

There is a certain Steampunk Sensibility about this book, the first in a series. Lots of gadgety things and Victorian science. Question: Does anyone write stand alone novels in the fantasy or mystery genres? Everything has to be a series.

So, the protagonist has no soul and is Italian. The premise of this series is that Vampires and Werewolves have an excess of soul, allowing them to survive the initial transformation and live on and on. Alexia, the heroine, having no soul is preternatural, rather than supernatural. Her touch allows her to suppress the supernaturality (sure that's a word) of Vampires and Werewolves.

The love interest/guy who initially irritates Alexia is a werewolf and also works for the supernatural regulatory branch of Queen Victoria's regime. There is a whole lot of exposition around systems of government and self rule among the Supernatural Set. Hives, packs, blah blah y blah.

I spent much of the book having theological sort of pangs about poor Alexia's lack of a future. You know, in the very, very long term. I don't care for this idea of the human soul being measurable and that there are inequalities of soul among us. I am just religious enough to believe that we are endowed with a soul by our Creator, and that it lives on after our bodies crap out. I also believe in fairness and that while this world is full of unfairness that the next world will not have such a thing. God: The Creator of the Even Steven.

I have no artistic objection to the book, but I just don't think the series is for me.

Book 40: The Baker Street Letters

2009-10-31T12:11:00.001-05:00

The protagonist was a wanker, the plot was disorganized. Didn't care enough to write a proper review.

I can't make an umlaut

2009-10-20T11:40:00.000-05:00

Here is Spiegel im Spiegel by Arvo Part. Is the magic in the notes? Or is it in the pauses? I cannot decide.

Favorite Site Of The Day

2009-10-04T21:01:00.001-05:00

Accidental Dong

25350

2009-10-03T21:23:00.000-05:00

If my math is correct, that is how many stitches this Big Pinwheel Blanket will contain. I am not including the kitchener stitches I plan to use to graft the ends of the applied i-chord bind off, as they are more sewn than knit. Again, more math here, but I am about 22,000 stitches into this thing. It's looking like I'll have used about 650 grams of Swish Bulky in Cypress and Honeydew.

I've mostly used the plain pinwheel pattern from Ravelry-- cast on 6 stitches, join and in round two K1 M1 to end. Round 3 and all other odd rounds, k. Every even row, knit while increasing by 12 stitches per row with evenly spaced YOs. The Ravelry examples used more cast on stitches. I didn't like the hole that left in the center of the blanket. There were also fewer increases in the alternate rows-- 7, 8, 10. I just like 12, because it's half of my favorite number, 24.

Swish Bulky is a fantastic yarn. It is pretty easy on my hands so far. The knit picks interchangeable harmony needles are smooth without excessive slickness. The cables are a dream-- thin and flexible. They are also really pretty needles. I still like looking at them after Twenty Two Thousand Stitches!

I have gotten quite behind in the reading due to this 'little' project. I have not been knitting much else besides it. I am probably not going to make it for the 52 books challenge unless I lay off the knitting a bit.

I Will Be Seeing Fewer Movies In the Future

2009-10-02T15:35:00.001-05:00

Because everyone who signed the Free Polanski petition is Dead to Me. They are sympathetic to the plight of an admitted child rapist, who has spent 30 years evading justice.

Just because the victim doesn't want further media attention does not mean that the law should be disregarded. The victim having been left unattended by her mother does not in any way mitigate his guilt. Roman Polanski is a fugitive child rapist. That is not excused by making good movies, or having a tragic past.

Again:

FUGITIVE
CHILD
RAPIST

From Salon: . . .Roman Polanski instructed her to get into a jacuzzi naked, refused to take her home when she begged to go, began kissing her even though she said no and asked him to stop; performed cunnilingus on her as she said no and asked him to stop; put his penis in her vagina as she said no and asked him to stop; asked if he could penetrate her anally, to which she replied, "No," then went ahead and did it anyway, until he had an orgasm.

Even if you think a 13 yr old can give meaninful consent to a rich, powerful man in his 40s this girl did NOT give consent.

He pled guilty to avoid more serious charges. His admission of guilt also includes acknowledgement that the judge may accept the plea without accepting the sentencing recommendation.

From George Orwell's 'Notes on Dali': If Shakespeare returned to the earth to-morrow, and if it were found that his favourite recreation was raping little girls in railway carriages, we should not tell him to go ahead with it on the ground that he might write another King Lear.

A Repulsive Quote from the Fugitive Child Rapist: "If I had killed somebody, it wouldn't have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But...fucking, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to fuck young girls. Juries want to fuck young girls. Everyone wants to fuck young girls!"

Really? 13 yr olds? Who are drugged and still saying 'No'? I think not.

The Dead To Me List is here.

Book 39: What Happens In London

2009-09-21T06:23:00.001-05:00

The romance of this novel was fun. Just enough initial dislike that Olivia and Harry could still have provoking discussions later. I must say, not nearly enough of the sex though.

I think Quinn should stick to the non-intrigue sort of book. Forget the spies and return to the straightforward Regency. The pacing of the intrigue was uneven and the whole villain bait and switch was just off somehow. The Russian prince was sure a dick though, regardless.

The hero's sidekick was a hoot, which means he gets the next book, natch. I don't like this trend where each book is an audition for the next in a series. It's like unauthorized multitasking. Why does it have to be a series anyhow?

Book 38: Evil For Evil

2009-09-14T21:53:00.000-05:00

The latest Billy Boyle installment. This time, Billy is looking for some BFGs stolen from a base in Ireland. The MI5 think that it's the IRA and that the IRA is going to team up with the Nazis to distract the English. The main conflict in this one is loyalty-- is Billy going to complete the assignment given to him by the US government or will he look out for the interests of the IRA? If I weren't completely exhausted, I would really dwell on this. It was well played.

The most emotionally compelling part of the book was not even any of the action of this story. Instead, Billy recounts the letter that was pinned to his grandfather's coat when he came over to the US as a boy. Terrible to think of English soldiers guarding the docks as other food grown in Ireland during the potato blight was sent away, leaving people to starve. The blight was from God, the famine was from the Crown.

The hidden relationship between two of the linked characters was telegraphed rather early. Additionally, I thought some of the ending was too neat and tidy-- there were a couple of characters who died, out of nowhere, instead of having a more conventional, prison based comeuppance.

Book 37: The Crack In The Lens

2009-09-07T18:05:00.000-05:00

Otto and Gustav are back deducifyin'. . . and this time, it's personal. I have really enjoyed the Holmes on the Range series by Steve Hockensmith. Otto and Gustav (Big Red and Ole Red, respectively) have a believable brotherly dynamic. They fight slightly less than the brothers I'm raising. In this installment Gustav drags Otto back to Texas. He is ready to solve the murder of Gertie, a Soiled Dove whom he had loved and lost to a killer who has dodged justice.

The small town of San Marco has gotten religion, and the whorehouse has moved right outside of city limits. This allows Otto and Gustav to get the city and county sheriffs after them. Actually, pretty much everyone in town comes after them. There are a lot of near misses for the brothers and there is sufficient collateral damage-- confined to them what had it comin'.

I am pleased to report that I didn't peg the killer until Ole Red did. I didn't think it was the first suspect they latched on. I was certain it was going to be someone else and I was pleased to be wrong, as that character seemed harmless enough.

What is troubling, is that this book ends in such a way that I fear it may be the end of the trail for Gustav and Otto. Gustav may be permanently disabled, or worse yet, about to become a goat farmer. I think Otto has a long way to go as a character-- he's pretty much the dimmer version of Watson, and a loudmouthed blowhard to boot. I wouldn't mind him growing up a bit. Gustav seems fully formed, but he's the better deducifier of the two, so I don't see that Otto could take on work without him. I admit, I hope the boys hit the trail again.

I just read Hockensmith's blog, which led me to some other book blog where that blogger was quite dismissive of poor ole Steve. That other book blogger has a stick up the pooper, by the way, so I won't be linking. Be a good little googler and find it for yourself. I do not think mystery novels are the same thing over and over-- even though they very nearly always end with a killer being caught. I just like the movement From Chaos To Order, so very different from how my house runs. People kill for a variety of reasons in a variety of ways and they slip up and get caught in others. The language and rhythms vary for each series and some puzzles are hard to solve, some are a good ride along the words. I guess I don't feel the need to Read Important Books. Or Impress People With My SmartyPants. Actually, I'm not wearing pants most of the time when I write this blog. Freedom From the Tyranny of PANTS!

Cheer up Hockensmith, you may not be Einstein, but neither was Mother Theresa. It is possible to bring joy to people using practically no brains at all. Not that I think these books are brainless or that Hockensmith is a dimwit. There are themes in those books of loyalty, justice, the importance of family, persistence, hard work. I have come to value these things as much as intelligence. They also have humor, which I value as one of the best uses of intelligence. In my experience (such as it is) humor keeps the intelligent going, it fuels persistence when spirits lag and enthusiasm and hope wane. If not for my (often inappropriate, vulgar, and black) sense of humor I am not sure what would have become of me over the last few years.

Book 36: A Duke Of Her Own

2009-09-07T18:01:00.000-05:00

I find it difficult to believe that the hero and heroine were so damn stupid. Gideon, the first love who spurned Eleanor was a big prettyboy wuss. Further, it was pretty obvious to me that Lisette was BugFuckCrazy and that Villiers didn't see it sooner just did not ring true. I didn't really care for the scene of Extreme Pug Violence where she showed her true colors. Poor little dog.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

2009-09-06T22:22:00.000-05:00

It's not 'rediculous' it's ridiculous. Twice today I saw threads on Ravelry with the same error. Pls Stp.

Larfs and Tunez

2009-08-25T21:47:00.000-05:00

Straight Outa Scotland. I had multiple LOLs. However, I also had multiple wines.

I love this song and video:

Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear from Gabe Askew on Vimeo.

Book 35: Bloody Good

2009-08-23T14:52:00.000-05:00

Imagine if the Germans had used Vampires as secret spies in WWII, such is the premise of Bloody Good. This is the first installment in the series from Georgia Evans. I started seeing ads for this book as sidebars on the Smart Bitches website, and I think on Crazy Aunt Purl's site as well. I read a sample chapter and the next thing I knew, I was preordering a copy from the fine folks of Amazon.

The town of Brytewood lies along an energy line and so Other folk (Pixies, Shifters, Whathaveyou) are drawn to the place. Brytewood also happens to be the very spot where the Nazis have launched a small invading force of undead. Thank goodness we are not dealing with Sparkly Brooding Emo Vampires. These German blood suckers are devoid of nonsense and romance. They are also plotting to double cross the Nazis, eventually, but only one character is in on that-- Bela, a fairy held by the Nazis as a Remote Vampire Listening Device.

In the other corner is a varied Paranormal Home Guard-- Alice and her Grandmother, Helen, are Pixie. Alice doesn't believe in Pixies or Other until she accidentally uses her powers, about 2/3 in. Meanwhile, her grandmother is a bit of a Character, sort of Marplish. Sergeant Pendragon is a dragon. There is also a were-vixen and another, more local vampire of moral neutrality. Along for the ride is poor, regular Peter-- a conscientious objector sent to work as a medical assistant. Alice and Peter have the whole 'first we hate each other, then we rip each others' pants off' thing going on.

The battle of this book is clearly a warm up for more of the series. I have the next two books already. As I just finished this in the bath this morning, I can't really tell you anything about the rest of the series. There were a lot of threads cast out in this book and either they will be neatly woven together or they won't. I'd go so far as to say that I can't really make a definitive call on how much I liked this book until I've gotten further in the series. At this point, they are calling it a trilogy, but since the first 3 books don't even crack past 1940, this one could be extended.

Book 34: The Fortune Cookie Chronicles

2009-08-22T15:26:00.000-05:00

This book made me crave Chinese food relentlessly. Even now, I would probably stab you for some noodles. Also, I approve of substituting a lucky number for a middle name. All my middle name is used for is an expression of parental disapproval. Anna Marie. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

The Fortune Cookie Chronicles was written by Jennifer 8. Lee. Let's just get something out of the way: Chinese Food As Americans Eat It Is Not Authentic. Shrug. I don't care about authentic; I only care about delicious. I sort of figured that General Tso's Chicken was as Chinese as I am. Incidentally, Meatballs are about exactly as Italian as I am: 1/4. The math on that is too complex for a mere blog entry.

I was surprised to learn the origins of the fortune cookie. I sort of assumed they were something that Chinese immigrants in this country developed. But no! I don't want to spoil it for you. . . that's what wikipedia is for. The specific restaurant in NYC that gave us delivery is highlighted. THANK YOU FOR THAT. I love it so much when hot, delicious food comes to my very door.

More somber are the details of what it takes for Chinese to come to this country and how hard they work in all those restaurants all over the country. Long hours, no days off. There is a pretty sad case outlined, of parents whose children were taken by the state because of the demands of the restaurant. (I would use names and places, but the book was due back at the library today and I am not prone to taking notes while reading.) Chinese parents who come to this country to give their children a better life sacrifice so much, including their relationships with their children. Lee is very compassionate to the parents who show love through sacrifice rather than through the sort of affirmation that is more commonly valued in the US.

The amount of travel that went into this book is baffling! There is a single chapter dedicated to The Best Chinese Restaurant In The World that must have cost about 15K just for the flights. That doesn't count the domestic travel: tracking the restaurants where people cracked open cookies with winning powerball numbers, or the trips to fortune cookie bakeries or soy sauce breweries. I would love to know more about the travel budget for this book.

I did find the structure of the book somewhat meandering. It is not too long, but it is not direct. However, other than hoping to impose my own organizational system on it, I wouldn't change it. Interesting, educational, not overly taxing on the mind. Much like the Discovery Channel of Books.

News Flash

2009-08-12T06:36:00.000-05:00

People who are scared shitless work harder.

Book 33: This Duchess Of Mine

2009-08-06T22:12:00.000-05:00

This one tries my resolve re: being unashamed of my reading materials. Look, I have to go with something that won't break my heart if it goes into the tub. There is just one character left to be covered in this series, and I had to read this one in order to read that one.

Jemma and Whatsisname have spent much of their marriage estranged and this is the tale of them patching things up. Admirable premise. The success of it all hangs on the well timed discovery of digitalis allowing Elias (Elijah? Something along those lines, can't be arsed) to live long enough to stop being such a stick in the mud. In the first novel of this series, we learned that Jemma and E--- were estranged after she caught him boning his mistress in his office at the house of Lords. Apparently, he wasn't cheating because he wanted to, but so he wouldn't look bad in front of the other aristos. There is a convoluted explanation of how his dad was found dead with a couple hookers and some fetishy stuff so the hero needed a single, boring lover to prove that he was a normal, studly Duke. WTF-ever. I mean. REALLY.

Book 32: Mistress

2009-08-06T22:09:00.000-05:00

Oh so bad. So very bad. Unlike my previous Amanda Quick Re-read, this one didn't stand up to time. Maybe I was high when I read it the first time? Huge holes in the plot, through which one might drive a carriage. Dumbassery on the part of the heroine, who should surely have gotten killed.